Morning Makes Me Dwell into the Past...

So....I am here on this early morning thinking of things that I don't understand why I am thinking today.The sun is just beginning to peep out and its lukewarm rays are just hitting me tenderly.I can hear the birds chirping out on the trees and could feel the cool breeze coming into my room. And I started to think of all those wonderful mornings I had through my life and thought of putting those out here.

To tell the truth about, I am a lazybones especially in the matter of getting up early in the morning but I can do that if need arises without any complaints. These days I wake up by 5.30 in the morning just because I got to start my work at home by 6. But that doesn't give me an option of enjoying the morning. So I am leaving out those mornings when I am working. Other than that, the early morning of my teenage years is what I remember pretty well. I have spent most of my holidays at my mother's house which is in a remote village about 80 km far from where I live now. There, our grandma was a real strict one on the matter of waking up in the morn, bathing, and going to the temple which we three (includes my two cousins) never could agree to. So we used to sleep like anything in the mornings and granny starts shouting but since we sleep upstairs and granny can't climb the stairs we used to escape from a direct encounter from her early in the morning but used to get what we deserved by breakfast time because we can't skip out that, you know....But the mornings there during some festival days like Vishu or Onam were splendid ones. On Onam, we used to wake up early and go to the nearby fields to pluck flowers for our flower carpet. Those cool, dewy mornings of August were the ones that I really hold close to my heart. We three had little bags made of palm leaf which we fill up with small pretty flowers and we come back home and arrange our flowers to make a beautiful "pookalam." Those were real fun mornings.

The other morning that I remember there are the mornings on Vishu. At that time, we wake up by 2 o'clock in the morning to burst the crackers and we used to have lots of them because my uncle used to work for a cracker shop and they used to give him packets of different kinds of crackers for free.So after we finish off everything by 4 in the morning, we sit together in the smoke left off by those crackers and talk about all the previous years we have spent together.Then we get our "kaineetam" from everyone at home. After that before granny starts shouting, we run off to take our baths and rush in new dresses to the temple.

Then comes the mornings at my home, when I was in my 8th standard, just after the Christmas holidays, my dad joined me for tutions at a place about 2 km far from my home and the tutions were from 6 in the morning and that put an end to my enjoying-morn-sleeping days. I had to wake up early, get ready without caring whether it's a dry day or a wet one, mount on my bicycle and rush to the tutions. On those mornings, the first thing I remember is the songs that are played in the temple. Even today, when I hear those same songs from the temple in the morning, I remember my morning tutions. My friend A who is also my neighbor used to accompany me to the tutions. He too had a cycle and we used to ride together talking about everything under the sun. He was a real good company and those morning rides were real fun. It was on one of those mornings that a man started following me on his bicycle and started asking me what's my name. A's cycle had got punctured and he used to walk on those days. So this man started pestering me daily and one day he called me by my name and I was shocked. He looked a real rogue and I thought it's time to put an end to it. I went and told my dad. The next day, he went before I started from home for a walk. That day, I didn't find that man or my father on the way. I wondered what happened. When I came back home, he told me he had confronted the person who was troubling me and had given him a warning and had asked him his whereabouts and he said the guy was terrified. I was happy and I didn't find that person ever anymore. But days later, I found out that the person whom my father had confronted was not the one I wanted him to but he was none other than my crush, S. One day I was talking to S and he told me that a man had questioned him and he had fooled him by saying a wrong name and wrong whereabouts. I smiled sheepishly but didn't let him know that it was my dad, LOL.

The other mornings I remember are the Shivratri mornings when I would sit for the whole night in the temple ground watching Kathakali and then in the morning return home with my friends drowsy like I had a real hangover after drinking the whole night. Why I went to watch Kathakali is a story for yet another post which I will post here sooner. The mornings when I was at Coimbatore were real fun. There also my work used to start at 6 in the morn and we used to make black tea in the morning and drink it so fast and rush out in groups to the office which was just 15 minutes away from the house where we 6 stayed.I loved those walks because the place where our house was situated was a bit remote one and it was a real beautiful place with lots of open fields, big trees lining the roads, a Ganapathy temple on the way, a Men's gym on the way (LOL), and we could even spot peacocks on the way to our office.Before that during my training days, I used to live in the hostel and at those times, I used to go to the open terrace above the fourth floor and used to study there in the early mornings to avoid the din of the lower storeys. The wind used to be so strong above there and it used to be so cold in the winter months but i did love those mornings when I would sit on the chair there and watch the sun coming out bright and happy.

The mornings which I spent at my father's sis' house during my vacations are also noteworthy. There I had no other job other than eating, reading, playing alone (because none of the guys or gals of my age were there). So I used to climb the tall champac tree in the courtyard of the house and used to sit on one of its high branches and read my books. I used to sit there till lunch time. Those mornings up on the trees were lovely. Once my aunt couldn't find me anywhere in the house and searched me everywhere and on the end my uncle found me up in the tree immersed in my book unaware of the surroundings.

The mornings that I hated most were the ones when I had to travel to Coimbatore from my home on early Monday morning. I hated that bus trip because throughout the trip I used to sleep with my bag as my pillow on my lap. That was horrible because by the time the bus reaches the bus station, my neck would have got a bloody cramp and I had to catch another bus from there again which would be so crowded to my house. I really hated those mornings.

I think I have really dragged away my post to a lengthy one. So its time to close the post here. Will come back to talk to you again. Till then, Have a really sweet day dudes ...

I took the Sunset Test....

You Crave an Important Life

Your dream is to live a life that leaves a mark. You'd like to have a mission or journey to complete, even if it takes years. You want your life to be meaningful, and having a final goal brings you meaning. You'd like to accomplish something big, if only to inspire others to believe it can be done.

The Sunset Test

Adieu my little angel...

Today will be a day i'll be forever remembering all through my life.I know i've not been blogging anything since last month and my blog has got very meager contents when compared to others' but i don't mind that now because i enjoyed my past days a lot being busy with a new little loving thing that had come into my life just two and a half weeks past.I am talking about the little baby squirrel that i got from our backyard when the man who plucks the coconut from the trees had orphaned it from its mother.I wanted to return it back to its mama, but she was nowhere to be found. So i thought of waiting till evening and so i put the baby along with its nest between the pepper climber on the arecanut tree. But, you know, i have got a demon cat in my home which loves to give the death penalty to squirrels. So it was not safe for the baby on that tree since my cat is an excellent tree climber. So me and my sis waited patiently a bit far from the tree watching out for the cat and waiting for the mama to come and then the cat came and saw that there was a squirrel in that nest, i was just about to catch the cat before it started climbing the tree, that the baby's mama who was seeing everything from up above the nearby coconut tree (about which we were unaware) jumped upon the cat to save its kid. I have never witnessed such bravado from any animal before. It was such an act of great motherly love. The cat caught the mother in the mouth and ran inside the house. Me and my sis ran behind him and caught the cat and the mother ran outside the house faster and luckily, it escaped but i dont know if it survived or not because till today she hasn't come back for her child.

So, from that day,the baby squirrel became my little "Tutu". For the first two days, he didn't bother to even come out of the nest.The whole two days it sat in its nest but when i gave milk to it in an ink filler, it showed its mouth out and drank some drops. The third day, i decided to take it out of its nest and i gave it a clean cloth to nuzzle.After a couple days, he started eating grapes and water melon. He just loved grapes and whenever i gave him one, he will jump upon me and eat it all. It was such a sweet sight. Every evening i came home from office enthusiastically to be with my Tutu. I would enter the room, lock it from inside and put Tutu inside my top because he loved to hide inside my dress.On some afternoons, he would even sleep inside there. He would rub noses with me and run all over me.I really started to love him a lot more than i thought.

It was three days back that we got another squirrel from our bathroom the same age as Tutu. It was a bit more experienced with its surroundings and tried to run from us but we were afraid the cat would catch it and so we caught it and thought would give Tutu a friend and then after some days will leave both together. Tutu became good friends with her. They would sit together, play upon each but the new squirrel didn't eat anything from our hands and neither did it come to our side. It was afraid of us. So we decided to leave both to their kingdom outside soon and today was that destined day for their freedom. Tutu was still not ready, i knew that but the other squirrel was getting weaker day by day because of its caged feeling and not eating anything, it was not right to keep it any longer inside and I didn't want Tutu to be alone when he entered the outside world. So i took them both to my neighbor's courtyard and left them both near a tree but the new one ran off leaving Tutu sitting on my shoulder. Tutu held on to me afraid to merge into the new surroundings. I urged him to go with the new one but he remained stuck to me. I hadn't slept a wink last night thinking what will happen to Tutu if i leave him outside. I was so worried, so i was half-minded about leaving Tutu away from my sight and so brought him back to my home but i wanted him to know that his life was upon the trees and not in a confined room. So i decided to put him on the mango tree at our backyard which was a really really bad idea. My sis and myself had tried one time to put him on that same mango tree and by evening when it was going to start raining we had tried hard to get him back from that tree because once on the tree he seemed to forget who we were but at last had caught him and brought back to safety. So this time, when he saw that tree, he just climbed up and ran up to the top. I was happy for him but i was a little doubtful about leaving him there because of our cat. He always waits for any squirrel to slip and fall. I knew everything, damn it!!! Still, i left him there. I thought i was giving him freedom but never thought i am giving him freedom from his life itself. I sent him up there near 8 o'clock in the morn and every 10 minutes i went to see if he was still there and also checked where the cat was. I called him a few times to come down and eat the grapes i had kept for him, but he didn't listen and ran more up again.The time was 11.30, i was still checking on him every 10 minutes. The last 10 minutes i checked on him, he was standing on the top of the tree hanging on the middle branch. For the last 20 minutes, he had been up in that same position.I went inside and was chopping some onion when i heard a squirrel's cry!!! I ran out and what i saw was heart wrenching.The cat was standing right under that mango tree with Tutu in its mouth. I shouted and ran at him. He ran faster than me and jumped over the wall to the ground beyond. I too jumped after him. He didn't keep the squirrel down even for a second. When he saw me running after him, he jumped back into our courtyard. I cried and jumped behind him. He ran again around the well and suddenly he disappeared. I couldn't make out where he went. Not inside the house, not around the courtyard, nowhere was he. I cried out his name loud but there was no other sounds other than my shivering voice. I turned and looked at our neighbor's plantation ground beyond the wall. There was the cat with the squirrel down at his feet. He had finished him and was sitting near it with victory shining in its eyes. I jumped that wall and ran to the place but.......every thing was over....My Tutu had left this dark world forever leaving me teary eyed. I took its soft, small body in my palm.I can still feel the warmth of it in my hands.There were no wounds on the body. He had died of shock. His eyes were half closed. I closed them completely. I cried aloud not even thinking of the surroundings. I jumped the wall back into my courtyard and just sat there in the mud. I don't know if i was out of my senses. But it was bitter grief that i felt at that time. My heart was breaking into pieces just looking at my beloved little thing. I don't know how long i sat there and cried. My face was all smeared with sweat and tears and i was feeling weary. No one was at home today when all this happened, so i was at my own free will to cry howmuchever i wanted.

Then my sister came and she too cried and we buried him near the coconut tree from which we had first got him.I have heard from some preacher that we should never ask God "why this happened" when something terrible happens in our life. It's some sort of questioning which God never wants to hear from us. We are his creatures and we should recieve what he gives us. He wants us to accept everything, good or bad, without questioning him.But what should i ask to god in such circumstances other than "WHY?" If God wanted to take him away from me in such a grotesque manner, why didn't he do it before itself? Before it became my pet?? I know i am half responsible for its death. I shouldn't have let it go when it was so young. I should have waited but if i had waited for some more time he would be more alienated from nature than ever. I didnt want him to be an ignorant squirrel. But i also didn't want him to die like this. I dont know who should be blamed here....my amma who asked me to leave it on the trees as soon as i can so that it does not become alienated or myself who left it on that particular tree for the cat to catch or the cat itself who caught such innocent creatures for fun or God who wanted to take him back to his world...Wherever he is now, i know he will have become a little angel with wings on his sides, i can imagine him like that now....He will forever dwell in my heart....Adieu my angel....

It's my B'day today!!!!

Your Birthday Predicts You're Fiery

Ever since you were born, you've loved taking risks. You crave excitement and thrills. You are driven by your passion. You may have a wild streak, but you also love learning and experiencing life. You're multi-faceted and can't be labeled. You're sexy, smart, flexible, and stubborn.

Well, I think what Blogtings has predicted about me is almost true....

Okay, Time Again To Celebrate the Glory of God !!!

Yeah,It's time again for another of my birthday due in some 4 more days. So, I should be thanking god that i am alive this long, right???My birthdays have not been any special event for celebration at all, actually i don't remember someone making me cut a cake for my birthday even once in my lifetime.But cutting a cake is not the only thing birthday is all about, right??My birthday involves wishes from my loved ones, going to temple to thank god that i am alive on this earth for such a long time (even if it is to bring trouble for others),wearing whatever things new i can get hold of from my almirah, distributing sweets to friends, doing my routine activities (yeah,sure that changes every year),cajoling amma to make some payasam for me and so on. So birthdays are no big deal other than the happiness i get from that "It's My B'day" feel.

Talking about birthday gifts, i don't remember receiving any special gift except the windchime that i got from my buddy Sindhu when i was in my pre-degree. She turned up in the morning at my home and gave me this sweet looking, green colored. stick like windchime that i tied in my room the moment i got it and listened to it singing in the wind.Yea, i think that was the sole gift that i have ever got from my friends or anyone around in my predegree days.You sure must be pitying me, right???Poor me, what else should I say...

Then the other gifts i remember receiving was a beautiful blue handbag, a lovely Devdas bangle and a cute handmade gift from my Mercian friends when i was doing my graduation. But now that i am really thinking about the gifts i got, why didn't they give me any gift in my first and second years???Why only in the third year??Were they afraid that i will leave them and choose someone else if they didn't gift me at least in the last year?? How irresponsible...

The one birthday that i remember bright and clear is from my Coimbatore days.I was doing my training there and if am right,it was my 23rd b'day.I had a friend there named Tamarai.She was the bestest but i unfortunately lost her because of a big misunderstanding.I'll update you on that story later.So on the eve of my b'day,i was totally unaware of my roommates' plans.I was all prepared for my b'day with a cute blue dress and orange and coconut flavored Haldiram's Soan Papdi (that's my amma's favorite too) for everyone in my room and class.So I had my friends in another one room as well as 4 people in my room.Usually I was the person who sleeps early, by 10 o'clock the least.The others always stays up and my buddy Arunya always sleeps only around 2 after her rounds in all the other rooms in our floor(remember, that counts to nearly 20 rooms).If i start talking about her now,am sure i wont be able to finish this note, so let me stop about her here.So, this particular day, I was the one staying up and everyone else had made their beds, including Arunya, and someone had started to even snore (that was dhevi from the next room, she sometimes sleeps in ours becoz she was the only one left alone in another room from our batch).I was wondering what happened, was something wrong with the vegetable biriyani they had served in the mess that Thursday eve?But then, why was i not sleepy?But i was not at all suspicious about anything. Eventually, i too went off to sleep reading a book as i usually do.By the time i switched off the light, everyone were snoring off in their beds.

I dreamed of many things.If i remember right, i was running through a forest, don't know how i reached there and i could see heavybuilt people following me, god knows for what.Suddenly someone called my name !!!! For a moment, my breath was arrested.I sat bolt upright on my bunk bed.I could see someone holding a candle light in the darkness but couldn't see any one holding it. The candle light was standing in the air.I shouted, Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.....That's it, and there were everyone singing "Happy B'day to you...." with music from one musical greeting card accompanying their singing.Then i came to my senses and realized that i was the victim of their plot....Everyone came and kissed me and wished me long life and fed me with chocolates and cup cakes in the middle of the night and gifted me with a copy of A.P.J.Abdul Kalam's Ignited Minds.That was a wonderful surprise B'day night.

So,let me see how my b'day turns out this year friends....Have a good time and don't forget to wish me and send me gifts....Luv you all...

The Story Continues Even If It Can't be Considered a Story...Whew!

So, it's been a long time since i posted anything real in here and i think i've been beating around the bush a lot. So it's high time i get back to where i'd ended my personal story and i think i need to upkeep this blog every day because I have joined 20sb as you can see on my page and i really want to make my blog honed to all those out there whom i love.

My pre-degree course came to an end and now i was a free bird but at the same time a lot of worries filled up my mind as to what course i should choose next. And it was pretty difficult for an average student like me to get admission in a course that i really wanted but as usual i hoped everything will turn the right way because god was with me, I believed. Most of my friends got through the entrance and were going to become Doctors and Engineers as that was the most preferred course for everyone. Not much aimed for anything different from that path. I am not blaming those who considered pursuing those as career but why can't people be more creative and do things differently??? Okay, don't think am still of that opinion because am not; as these are the jobs that bring good bucks our way and that's the most important factor with which you can even become creative one day,hah!!!So, in the end I managed to get admission to Bachelor of Science in Chemistry at a "Women's College". The saddest part was that within the quotes. The day came for the interview and admission and i was waiting in the waiting area with my dad. To speak truly,it was a beautiful college with a beautiful atmosphere, but none of that entered my eyes. I was somewhere else, I loved my previous college, even if its buildings were old, gutting and the grounds covered with weeds and years of trash, I loved that place more than this.I felt tears in my eyes because I didn't want to study in any other place in my home town other than my old college but my marks were against my chances. And then I became a Mercian from Victorian (am just making that up from my college names, so don't get confused).

My new college was beautiful in all respects. There was a big beautiful garden all around, a huge auditorium, an excellent library, a good canteen and even a cool ice cream stall except that i was surrounded by just green salwar kameezes(that was the uniform) and dupattas. No guys anywhere other than the drivers of our buses and slowly, I started to merge into the green sea and became one among them. Within two weeks, the Fresher's Day of the college was arranged when all the first year students were to perform for their seniors and entertain them for a full 1 hour. I too joined up as i thought i sang pretty okay and you know what, my song Chaha he tujhko from Mann movie got the biggest applause. The whole college came to know about me and i was just floating in the air for at least one month after that event and thus i started to like the college.

Now, when i think about the time i spent in that college, i think a women's college is the most safest place to study with no disturbance, no comments from neighbors. You can wear whatever you want the way you want, walk however you like, talk whatever you want, and even do whatever you want in the classroom during recess. There are no restrictions and no ill will and my class of 24 was a real good one with girls who were really afraid of teachers. Sometimes they behaved like kids but i really changed a lot of them by asking them to show courage and not behave like kids. Most of the girls were from "Girl's schools" and so has never faced any offish behavior from guys which can make them strong. This will be the only reason i'd opt for a college with both guys and gals as a girl's college would be nicer in all other respects.

My three years of college came to an end very fast. If you ask me whether it was a boring life over there, Ya, it sometimes was but my group of five including me had fun every moment we were together. Neels was a bit on the heavier side, but she was an excellent dancer and cutie of the college and teachers' pet, Resh was beautiful but really awkward at times, Div was a sweetheart with no too much talk and no too less talk, she was just the highfalutin type, Smitu was the real fun kind, the jokes she cracked mostly from old movies (ya, she even remember the correct dialogues), that too in between our Hindi madame's classes just made us roll on our stomachs and because we were always the latecomers and the backbenchers in her class, she didn't care much in the 70-something-filled classroom.

More on my Mercian days will follow.....

What's Your Word???

Your Word is "Think"

You see life as an amazing mix of possibilities, ideas, and fascinations. And sometimes you feel like you don't have enough time to take it all in. You love learning. Whether you're in school or not, you're probably immersed in several subjects right now. When you're not learning, you're busy reflecting. You think a lot about the people you know and the things you've experienced.

What's" Your Word?

This is what i found out on checking what my word on my life is. I am a lot bored this moment and so thought why not steal some time from my busy job to post here...so this was it....Take care all...

Do you think this is what I am ???

I found this out from one of the fellow-bloggers' post about how to find out what kind of a blogger you are and just thought of trying it out and got the below shown result for my blog: Cool, right?

ISFP - The Artists

The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of.

They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living.

Just got time for a Quickie !!!

Today, in between work, i managed to get into my blog from office, this is the first time am doing this.How i wish i could log in daily in here and blog about everything under the sun!!! but unhappy that i am, i wont and could never get time for that. So that's it!!! It's been a pretty long time that i lost in touch with all bloggers even though i daily go through all my favorite blogs one by one each day and get updated with whatever they have written.I love reading each one of them and that's what i do in between my job to let go of the stress i feel. Cool, na?

Well, talking about blogging, today I was thinking about telling you all about my 5 favorite bloggers ( i can always increase the number when i get the time, ok?) and what i think about them. Usually i find new bloggers by going through their blogroll and going again into the second person's blogroll and then to the third person's and so on and at last i end up with a totally great blogger whom i would never have been able to find out if i had been browsing over clicking the next button on top of this screen. So i think this idea is better than the latter.I have found real interesting people with real interesting life out here and that's why i love the blog world. There was a time when i used to be an ignoramus about blogging. Then i myself took the initiative and ended up creating a blog for myself (though am a pretty worse writer when compared to the people here).

So let's come back to the five people we are talking about: My first option even if someone wants to shoot me to say otherwise will be:

1. The Compulsive Confessor : This is an interesting blog by a 20-something, really bold female who has shown the courage to profess even her most privy matters on the blog but that's not what makes this blog dear to me. The things that she has written out in it apart from her personal things resemble many of 'us', the feeling of loneliness that haunts most of the female members, the feeling of insecurity, the feeling of superiority complex when we come across someone whom we consider superior to us, even when they won't be. And each of the incidents that she has described inside her page, even the most trivial matters have been dealt in a satirical as well as thought-provoking way even though some parts of her writing are not really savoury but i can assure you that she has got a very fast-mouse-scrolling way of writing things which make you want to read her pages even when you are in the most worse mood of yours.

2. Life In Chicago: This is my next favorite blog of a lady named Claire Boose. Her writing has got such fluidity that we go on reading even if the details that she blurt out are sometimes quite monotonous. I have been reading her blog for a long time and have seen her life moving from pitfalls to the heights of happiness. Sometimes when i read her blog, i feel am watching a movie which should be titled "The road to fulfillment." Each of her entries have been so good to read, her joys, her sorrows were all mine when i read them and her way of writing is really idyllic and makes us think about the greater facts of life which we don't muse over in our day-to-day life.

3. Coming Home : This is the blog by a young teacher and she talks about various things that she has to encounter in her daily lift along with so many really really perky little incidents. It's interesting to travel with her through her blogs. So i love this one too.

4. Through The Looking Glass : This is one mother-baby blog which i love among a lot more i have found on my way till i decided to write about my favorite blogs. Her Brat and bean are really lovely things and i love her introspection on the various aspects of the society we live in, how it brings changes over to her world, how things keep getting different in the world she lives in, how her kids grew up and what all worries she come across on the way, everything has been outed in a poignant manner.

5. Clever Girl Goes Blog : This one is a very neatly arranged, ordered blog. I love its pink template (bcoz i love the color a lot) and i also love the kiddish way she writes about her life. Her witty form of writing often makes me laugh out loud. I found it one day from the blogs of note that are shown on the home page of the blogger and from that day i have been following this blog and i love reading it.

So that's all about my favorite blogs for now. But there are lot more blogs that i would love to tell to talk about and which i follow regularly. Even if i dont make time to write down a post myself, i always make it a habit to read what others have written out for me. Love you all, great bloggers!!! Hail blogging and hail bloggers!!!

Colossal Courage is What We Showed in Facing Terrorism!!!

I have been planning to write this post for a long time, that is, since the day Mumbai or more precisely speaking, India was attacked by the terrorists, on November 26th. But i wanted to find out more about the attack before giving out my cognizance out here on the blog. On all the three days that the attack lasted, i was glued to the TV to know how it will all end, how the Indian soldiers will save India and it really turned out worthwhile watching everything. My amma and sis at home were shouting at me because they were very least bothered about things that were happening in some place far away from where we live. But that's not the way it should be, we too have got a say in the things happening anywhere in India. After all, we are the proud citizens of India and our rights don't confine to the small place where we live.

Before i start thinking out loud, let me first bow my head in front of all those martyrs who laid their lives to save us all from worser perils that could have befallen all of us. Those were the real gods shrouded in military garments. I, from my heart, salute all those brave and formidable heroes of India who fought to protect our country.

The thing that happened here could have happened to any country in the world and i do not know how each country will tackle it but definitely some can tackle it better than we did because of their better economy but i won't blame our country's military force because they have done their best with whatever measly armaments they had. I definitely believe that an AK-47 is not even 1% equal to 10 rifles or pistols or whatever our Indian Police force has.

The other thing that made me sit open-mouthed in front of the TV was the strength and ability of the terrorists to make such an attack, that too, remember, they were less in number in a foreign land. That's definitely not an easy thing to do. I think they accomplished at least 60% of what they aimed. They could create terror, kill people, destroy Mumbai's shaan "Taj Hotel" and we were able to catch only one of them alive. I heard in news that they had used cocaine injections to keep themselves away from fatigue and falling asleep. They all had bodies that could have fitted the persona of a real warrior, and they were real warriors, ready to die, or you can say fighting to die causing havoc till they are alive. They had been trained for more than two years to sustain any kind of adverse conditions and also trained to fight and die. I still don't understand what kind of religious fanatism can lead one's mind to such a point as to make oneself sacrifice for its needs. How can they forget all the beauty of the world? How can they shut their eyes to the life around them? How can they be so inane? I really don't understand and never will.

One thing that's clear as crystal is the fact that terrorism will never end from the face of earth because man can never be satisfied. We can only stand together and fight against terrorism and try to take preventive measures against it. Only then can we save the innocent lives that are being sacrificed in the names of religion and other contemptible activities of man.

Meow....Meow....Meow....Would you care Listening Me Singing...Meow...Meow...Meow....

I am Cadbury, the tomcat you all will love. Am a domestic cat who turns wild only if someone really really hurts me. Usually felines are thought as very unfaithful ones but i can assure you am not one among them. Am a bitttt different. Because i learnt about faithfulness from my hero, the Alsatian whom the long-legged (LL) creatures who gives me food call Johny. Ya, such a funny name for a dog, right? But what can i do about it??? They have even named me wrongly. They have made me something that can melt in their mouth whereas the real me is quite different from what they know of. But so what?Let them call me whatever they want.I know what i am and how i am.

It's time i tell you how i got between these long-legged ones. I lost my mother or you can even think that my mother drove me away from her because i was becoming a headache for her as i always interefered her during her night trips with boyfriend. So she deserted me on the street on a rainy day and i couldn't even reach her by smelling her tracks. That's how the big LL creature of this house saw me lying cuddled in the grass. He called out someone and three LL ran out of the house. I was so afraid that i didnt look at any of them. I couldn't even find my voice to cry. They took me inside and dried me up with a soft material. I felt so cozy, so i decided to try the place for a while. If i find my mamma the next day i can of course go with her, i thought. But the thing that happened was just the opposite. I started liking the place more than i thought.

Days passed, they fed me with tastier stuff than what my mamma gave me. The only thing that i hated the most was the cuddling and petting. The younger LL creature of the house is a real pain in my ass. She always cuddles me up, gives me massages that i just hate, and makes me do weird things, Oh...i always try to hide from her.

The lady LL creature was okay with me. She pets only at rare times, so i dont make much complaints then. The sister LL creature has got a thing in her hand all the time which starts ringing at regular intervals. Only when that starts ringing i go near her, so she wont make any trouble for me at that time. I can see her sitting now at a big box from which white light is flowing and tapping on a black thing full of small cubes. I tried climbing on another big box kept below the light emitting and she cautioned me telling me to climb down from the "CPU"(what is that?) but i never listen to her babblings. I tried to touch her tapping hand through the gap above my head but when she started holding my hand through that gap, i escaped from there.

The big LL creature, the only male in the household is a big big satan. He always pulls my leg, my ears, my skin, my tail, whatever he gets hold of. He loves pulling me. What can i do? He is the one who brings the fish for me, my favorite chicken for me, so i allow myself to his pulling. The life of a tomcat in a house is really trying.

Oh, Yeah, you might be wondering about my hunting skill, right? am a great hunter even though am afraid of loud noises. If i hear something loud, i run faster than a cheetah(which i saw running on the box the LL creatures call TV{weird name}downstairs) and hide inside the cage where the box is being kept. So, about my hunting. Till this day (remember am just going to be 1 year old next August), i have hunted down 16 rats (i dont remember if i'v left counting any), 2 squirrels, 3 mynahs, 1 crow, 2 chameleons, and 1 snake.I really really look forward to breaking the record that has been set by my enemy the big black fractured-legged cat in the neighborhood that always gives me a snarl whenever he meets me.

Now, my real friends or you can also call them my girlfriends in the household are the squirrel and the puppy that lives upstairs under the LL sis's cot. I happened to hear from the smaller LL creature one that she made both of them for her last vacation at a doll-making class and the first day i met both of them i did thank the small LL creature once by giving her a big bite on her forearm. The squirrel is rani and the pup is tinty. I even kiss both of them and always have a great time (with lots of "fun") with them. I really love them.

So friends, i think that's all for now. It's time for my bed. Oh, dont ask me about my sleeping habits. am a real sleep baby. I sleep whenever i feel like but i have special places in this home for sleeping, either on the corner sofa, or on the big LL creature's bed, or under sis LL creature's cot with my playmates. Today for a change i am going to try sleeping under sis LL's blanket, pray for me to be alive tomorrow morning friends(hope she won't kick me out).....So yaaawwwwwnnnnnn....zzzzzzzzz........goodnight....

Say No to Violence Against Women

My Trumpery...

....That is the only sane title that came to my mind when i thought of writing a post this evening. It's a very cool November evening and I am in the mood to write somthing. Oh, it's now that i notice that i'd been absent for about a month from this blog, right? Havn't written anything for a long time but i think that is something of less importance considering the fact that there are so many outstanding blogs out there because of which nobody ever misses my niggling blog. But it really is a precious blog for me, mind you....Grrrrr....

Today, i am thinking of writing out more about what my life had been after college. This blog has sort of become a late diary to me. The things which i should have recorded back when it happened, i am doing now, what absurdity, right? Might be, it's now that i got the courage to write something so dicey where every one can read me. It's true that my punter has been knowingly or unknowingly "The Compulsive Confessor whom i think i'd already mentioned in my blog. My life is not so bold as hers and i can never see myself in such a life. But basically, i feel we have got many similarities, might be many of us girls will be having such similarities. The things she writes are real raw facts which we ourselves try to evade to accept in our everyday life. Yah, there are instances where i differ with her and her musings are utterly foolish and gushy. But still i like her writing a lot.

Well, well, am i floating away from what i came here to say? Let's come back to that. So thus ended my soft corner for S. My predegree days thus came to an end without any more memorable people or events except a few good friendships that i gained from there which i still treasure. After pre-degree i realized that studies were really important than anything else in our lives because i'd been so much drowned in my college life pleasures that i really forgot why i joined the college in the first place. Still, i was not that bad and managed to pass out with First Class marks but still i knew i could have done better if hadn't loitered away. I tried my luck with all the entrances available but sad to say my number was not so good. It was like god heard me and helped me get bad numbers because i myself never wanted my numbers to be good. But that act of mine shattered the dreams my amma and achan had woven about me and i can tell you that was the beginning of my "fall" but i was so unaware of it as a bird will be when the shooter is aiming at it...

Some say love, it is a river....Some say love, it is a razor...Some say love, it is hunger...I say....What do I say???

You are right, the title does show exactly the lyrics of Westlife's song that's on my blog here.But what is my concept of love? Is love something that flows along the way and reaches us at the right time? Is love a feeling that can hurt us badly?or is love a longing to be near someone, to hold somone close to us? I remember i'd already done a post on love earlier, months back, so i don't want to deal with the same thing again because however we try to define it, it never fits. Love just changes its face every moment. So let's leave it at that.

Nowadays, i am really daydreaming. U know why? It's just because of the book that i am reading these days and a really idyllic one that is. U might be wondering which book has caught my attention so much as to engross me in it and thus lead my mind to daydreaming. It's none other than the first among the TWILIGHT series. It's the love story between a vampire and a human. I've really really fallen in love with Edward Cullen who is the central character of the book and who is a vampire. I haven't finished the book yet but is about to and i couldn't keep myself from writing about it because it's one book that has captured my heart and soul equally.I got this one as an e-book and after reading this, i got everything in this series and will be devouring that soon. I am also planning on watching the movie based no the book which is to be released soon. Edward cullen is being enacted by Robert Pattinson who really fits the role immaculately. I remember seeing him in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire as Cedric Diggory and really loved him in that. So I hope seeing him take up Edward on screen won't disappoint me.

Sometimes when i sit by the moonlight on my veranda in front of my room upstairs there is an uncanny feeling inside me. I look at the moon and dream of finding myself in love with a vampire and it makes me poignant. I know there are no such vampires on earth that will fall in love with a human being but thank god they exist at least in the pages. Otherwise i would have been left with nothing to dream out of the ordinary (hey, i do have ordinary things to dream about in my life too, ok?don't think i've become so desperate).So lemme take leave for now. Gotta go and catch up with my vampire musings. Cyao all later....

I Should Go On And On And On...

Whenever there is nothing exciting happening in life, i think it'll be better to blog about the past events and relive them on the screen. I think i was narrating about the events from my college days. And thus me and (ahem..ahem) S landed as classmates. I was a back bencher for two years (11th and 12th), that too in the same classroom as we had all started to love that class (even when the staffroom and Paraman's room were just next to our class). Paraman alias Parameshwaran sir was a really interesting character when we first came into the college. He was our Physics professor. The first thing i remember about him is his voice which can even win over the sound of thunder ( i seriously had doubts that the wall behind our classroom got that crack just because of him). If he shouts (generally he takes class that way) we can never listen without putting our forefingers inside our ears and pretending that we were keenly listening. But apart from that, he was a very good natured person. People say that he is short tempered, so and so. But me, Gayu (she was the smartest among girls for polishing), and Sindh (my best friend) used to go to his room in the afternoons and have a chat (never touched Physics, if you are wondering what we were talking about). We used to talk about his gardening, his family, our seniors, and such stuff. We even used to give him tips on gardening (without any idea on how it will affect his plants).

So, studies apart, college was real fun. I never even knew how two years flew away and i miss that place even now. Don't laugh when i tell you this, but I really feel like crying every time i look inside the gates of my college and i miss those days really really much (even though i've done very little as a student for the place). Whether it's the place that i am missing or is it the people in there at that time i am missing, am not sure of. Maybe a bit of both. Without the students who were there when i had been there, it won't be the same. Now i feel there are things which time can never make us forget. The old saying "time heals" sometimes looks so ironic.

Let's go back to what happened to me and S in the first year of college. I was beaming with joy on getting him in my class. It's really true that until we know a person completely, we will be full of curiosity but once we find that person is just an ordinary individual just like you, all curiosity wears off. Something like that happened in my case too. He became a regular visitor at my home also because he always misses classes and will need my notes and he was a real chatterbox, so i got lot of such funny moments with him at home and college because he acted real stupid at times. But still i used to have those special feelings for him hidden inside me. I think something that is really bad about my character is that i don't tell my friends anything close to my heart, like, i never reveal my deepest desires (good/bad) to anyone, not even my best friend and i think i have paid for that already. In this case also, i never revealed anything to him. I remained a faithful friend to him always till today except that today, i dont have those feelings for him.

It was one month after our college started that a new girl, R joined us who looked stylish enough, lean with a long nose that reminded me of Pinocchio (might be i was jealous, i dont know and i dont care) but she was beautiful (i have to admit the truth, right?) and she was a real expert in classical music (as i came to know later). We even became friends later but that's another part of the story. It was less than a week after she joined, and she had become real popular in class. She had this ability that i lacked, she talked her mind so openly that anyone listening to her will become her slave. As i said, myself and Sindh were the backbencher girls. Along with us were two of her friends and in our front bench was her seat and whenever she got a chance she will jump to our bench to sit with her friends. At our back, was the actual last bench which had Allu, Hash, S, and "whoever had no seat on D-day". Thus, S became friends with everyone in my bench (so now i lost the credit of being the only person who knew him personally in our class). That made me a bit mad, but it's something i can't do anything about, so i left it at that.

Days and months went by. Myself and R even participated in many group events together (O, ya, i do sing a bit. At least i should say that for the 4 years of classical training that i had had).

It was on one such afternoon when i had nothing to do except sit idly that my world shattered in front of me. S, myself, Gayu, Sindh, and some of my other friends too were standing near the blackboard and drawing on the board for fun. Suddenly i noticed Gayu started making fun of S. I couldn't make out what it was about. Suddenly i heard she saying "if R sings, S will also be ready to sing." I asked aloud, "What?" Then everyone around started laughing without noticing me. I looked at S and he had a shy smile on his face. I blinked. When the bell rang after the recess, i asked Gayu what it was all about (actually i was in the mood of punching Gayu in the face for what she was doing). She said that S likes R period. The last thing that i wanted to hear was that.

I ran out of the class straight to my friend who was my old school tutionmate and who was also the only one who knew that i liked S. I told her so and so has happened. She consoled me a lot and even told me she would help me by conveying my plight to him but what was the use? He's already planted his heart in someone else. And i was such a generous, sacrificing being at that time, so i decided to pluck him out of my heart and put my feelings for him aside and help him achieve his happiness (i thought that was what true love was all about). I cried a lot, if i remember right, without knowing that life has gotta shed lot more tears on the way to happiness.

Here I am...

It's funny to think how things move on each day in your life, it's even more funny to realize that you are always being watched by someone around, it might be your folks at home, it might be your neighbors, it might be your colleagues, it might even be people unknown on the blog, whew!!! sounds a bit direful now that i really think about it (wont tell you why). But it's also at times a bit soothing and encouraging to know that people really appreciate you for what you are doing, even if it's the most crappiest thing. I am saying all this now because last week i found out that Vims caught me up here from my hiding and that was a bit unexpected because my name is nowhere on this blog and i'd really have loved to be anonymous. Well, so everything happens for a reason is what i believe and so this might also be holding a good reason in the days ahead. Today, i feel like i am missing something. Maybe because i am a bit cloudy in mind about what is happening in my life. I got into a small fight with sissy, dont know why she keeps on doing things that i ask her not to do again and again. I wanted to stop all that and make her behave but i think the way i chose was wrong. She interpreted it in her own language and that has lead her away from me. My mother too supports her at such times which makes me really really really raging. Well, that apart, things are going well.

I finished reading You Are Here by my favorite blogger. I ordered it through Flipkart and managed to get a copy at a discount prize (my first book to order from home). But i think i was a bit disappointed with her book because i could find the same incidents that she had described in her blog in her book also. A person who has read her complete blog will not be in for any surprise in this book. I don't know why i like her writing when normally people who read real good literature, the classic stuff can never accept her way of writing. Her use of the language is so rough-cut at times that it might make you gasp after each chapter. But overall the book was good for light reading and it did bring into light many of the maverick things happening in urban (could also call ultramodern) India.

Reading has always been with me since my childhood, starting with children's favorite balarama, a malayalam weekly because that was the cheapest one at hand in those days from my 2nd std. I had a friend Deepa at that time who was my neighbor. We used to share balaramas and read them together. It was real fun. Then we both shifted from that place and were separated but my source of new new books at that time was Deeps. So i used to take pain to travel about half an hour from my home on holidays to her home and also in the evening after school. Her house was on the way from our school (we used to be in the same school), so i always took time and went to her home once in a while in the evenings so that i don't miss any of her new books. Her house was in such a place all surrounded by plants, so the place used to charm me because even in summer, it was very cool inside her house and as her mom,dad, and bro will be out always, we used to have our time with books and chatting and playing without any break. The bread upma that we used to prepare, the maggi noodles, the raw mango with salt and chilly powder which used to give us company during our reading hours even now makes my mouth water. Last month she got married to a guy from Bihar. I never remember her being such a gumptious (you really need some guts to do this) person who would have 'taken the pain to love' a person, that too someone from North India and then go to the point of marrying him. Unfortunately, i couldn't attend the wedding (but i really wanted to). But i dont know, she might have changed. I lost touch with her after my 10th, so am not someone to give my opinion about her guts. Now, lets get back to books. After my craze for Balarama wore off, i started subscribing to Gokulam (which i happened to get from one of my classmates and absolutely loved) which i adore even now. It's an excellent children's monthly which cost just Rs. 5 at that time (but recently, i happened to get an edition and i think now it's not as good as it used to be, the pages are less and the cost is more and the articles were also not up to the mark) . I used to wait for it eagerly from my 6th std onwards. I stopped the subscription in my 9th (might be i ceased to be a kid, by then, :) did i?) Then from 9th i started to read some serious books (which i thought were serious but found out otherwise later) and they were mostly books by Enid Blyton, Malory Towers being my favorite. I also adored Famous Five. I even used to wait for the Saturday afternoon show of Famous Five on Doordarshan (that being our only cableless TV channel at that time). So that's all about my childhood reading.

Will continue my reading journey in the next post....Love you all out there....Tc till then....

Life is full of surprises...

Am listening to Ace of Base "dont' go away", a really beautiful song. I feel its lyrics are just made for me. do check out the song once, folks...

So, now, lets get back to what we were talking about, My life, right? I know am not much of an interesting person for someone else to be so much into knowing me, but as of such am not a twerp, if u start to think so. I am a rather blatant person, to tell you the truth when the right moment appears and that moment appears very rarely. So, i thus went into a period of complete freedom and landed in college straight after my 10th. At that time, there was a course called "pre-degree" (i think prepraing to take a degree, in what, i'll have to redefine, so leave it at that) which was later removed from college and put in schools as our plus one/11th and plus two/12th. So, i was one among those lucky dudes who got admission into the last pre-degree batch of our university. And my life really started from there, the first day that i got into college. That's the time i started to realize where i stand in my life. I was with girls all along but i was not the kind of person who was afraid to get near a boy, no, nothing like that. I was pretty cool with guys as if they are the same as girls and nothing is special about them that i need to be conscious about.

Before going on to that, i'd like to add that i had a crush for someone who was in my tutions when i was in my 9th std, that went on till my 10th and i really cried a lot on the final day that i thought i am seeing him (which was not the case to be). No, no, i didnt cry in front of him. He was really unaware of my being fond of him, so he is not to blame for my goosy tears. But truly, i thought i loved him, loved him so much that it made my heart break at the thought that i wont be seeing him again (as i happened to hear from another friend's father that he was going to join in another school in 11th). But now when i think about it, there was nothing much to cry about because his house was just 15 min walk from mine, but it was a rather long distance for my heart to travel through to reach him whereas in the tutions, i was able to see him in one single room. So that was a bit of my first crush/love/infatuation or whatever you want to call was.

Now, let's get back to my first day of college. By that time, i had forgotten all about my crush hero and had made my heart realize that there are more important things to do than brood over a lost love. So i was all excited about the first day at college because after 3 years of abstinence from the sight of guys-my-age i was getting to have this opportunity for 2 whole years, so that was something to be thrilled about at that time.

All the four batch students, 2 science with maths, 1 science with biology, and 1 commerce batch were the batches into which we were to go. As per the admission criteria, i was to go to the second, S with B. So i was waiting for my name to be called to join the line when suddenly i heard someone else' name called, that too a name that was so endearing to my ears, "MY CRUSH BUDDY". Oh, i cant explain the happiness that i felt at that particular moment. It was like god had granted me the greatest wish of my life. I strained my neck to get a glimpse of him but could not. Two months had gone by me without seeing him, so i was very anxious to make him know that am back with you once again (even he didnt know the relevance of that)....

Will be continued.....

A jump down the memory lane....

I know it's not an odd title for a new post, coz this could hav happened earlier. I started this blog with the intention of making myself come out of me, u might be knowing how much an introvert wants to break the shell and come out if you are one. This blog was made for that but it never has served its purpose till to-date. So, here is how things lie. To tell you the truth, i was in a kind of funk till an year back. That's half of 2006 and quarter part of 2007 till someone came into my life who made my life i may say "semi-beautiful".

There are times in everyone's life when one wants to enjoy it to the last drop because we are afraid that it'll be lost before we get the maximum out of it. Yeah, that's what happened with me in 2006. It's sad that i didn't have a blog at that time and that's not because i never knew about a blog but it's because i had no pc at that time that i could have an access 24 hours like how i've now. But i am still a bit reluctant to reveal my life's happenings to the root on this blog but i hope i'll eventually get my bluff manner back before long.

As of my childhood, it passed without much trouble from my side to my parents. I was a convent product as people call convent-studying-girls. Yeah, as you have guessed it right, i had boys with me only till my 7th std. After that, it was a long 3-year 'nun-dom', if you may call it so! I passed out my 10th and flew out into real FREEDOM!!!

I am running out of time now, so will continue the rest later, guyzzzz....

Sway Your Body To The Rhythm...

The Great Olympics has come to an end and now it's time to wait longingly till the London Olymics in 2012. It was really a great show where people from all the corners of the world participated and India can be proud to have bagged 3 individual medals in this Beijing Olympics. Whenever Olympics happens, the event i look forward to is the Gymnastics. I will even say that that's the most beautiful event in sports. The twisting, jumping, and swaying can only be found with Gymnastics. This time also i didnt' miss to watch the gymnastic events. This time i really loved watching rhythmic group all around event in which Russia bagged the gold, China silver and Belarus with bronze. I came to know from the media that Belarus were the people who had bagged the top points in the qualifying rounds but luck was with the Russians in the finals.

The thing i wonder when i see a gymnastic event is that how do the girls do it with this much perfection in each step and in each formation. They use their props so effectively and their timing is so perfect that it even excels the circus lads who practices a lifetime in the ring. I was astonished about the music the Israel team performed in this Olympics in the rhythmic group round. You know what ? They performed to the rhythm of Dhoom thana from Om Shanti Om. That was a real surprise for me, other countries using an indian movie song for such a big event like the Olympics, Shahrukh, u really rock!!!!

Every event carries with it the joys and sorrows. This time, Russian girls really deserved the gold but i think Belarus deserved the silver than China. I don't know why it happened the other way. Might be the judges were wearing microlenses and who am i to judge those folks, lol....So i just want to say, win or lose, what each team performed was really magnificently extraordinary and thus every member of all the teams really deserve a standing ovation for the effort and dedication they had put into their event.

Oh Julie, How Fortunate You are.....

Everyone will be wondering whatever has happened to me to be writing about such an old movie, that too back from 1975, but at least am a bit peaceful at heart because it's about the super-duper hit of those times, ya, i am talking about none other than the then-too-cute Laxmi starrer, JULIE. Actually, this movie had been aired many times on TV, but i never really bothered about watching a love story, that too something that carries the same cute girl falls in love with the cute guy+parents raising hell+she getting pregnant+he leaving the scene kind of movie. To tell the truth, that's what i'd thought about this movie previously but not now. It's kind of a charming movie showing the agonies faced by an 18-year-old in those times and rarely even now. Julie is the central character and Laxmi has done real justice to the character. She portrays the fantasies of an adolescent.

What i really loved about the movie was something that was very unlikely to happen in orthodox families like that of the Bhatacharya's. They accept the girl to their family in the end even though the girl has already suffered a lifetime's miseries by having to leave her baby in someone else's care in a far off place. But it was a very charming ending by showing the reunion of everyone.

The character that i liked the most in the movie was not Julie but that of her mother Margaret. She has portrayed the image of a real Anglo-Indian woman who fancies that her motherland is England and not this bloody India in her view. She carries an air of grandeur around her even when her husband walks with her as a drunkard. Her only dream is to go and live in England, her dream land. She loves her daughter so much but the mental torture she had to go through when she left her pregnant daughter at her aunt's place for a long 9 months and the time when she had to close her eyes to her daughter's pain on losing the child is all so beautifully portrayed. We only look at the angry side of her character which makes us dislike her but if we look deeply we can see a very compassionate mother. Nadira really reminded me of my mother who loves us so much but never shows that. Nadira is Jewish in origin. She had won Filmfare's Best Supporting Actress for the character that she played in Julie. Something that i learned after doing a bit of research on her is that she was the first Indian actors to have owned a Rolls-Royce (Oooh!Wow!that's pretty cool!).

I think the movie is pretty good but that would be an understatement because my forefathers have already given the movie such an appraisal that what i say doesn't count any more, right? So Hip Hip Hurray to the director Mr. Sethumadhavan for whom i dedicate this article (was this last appraisal a bit cheesy? Hey, am serious people) !!!