Today will be a day i'll be forever remembering all through my life.I know i've not been blogging anything since last month and my blog has got very meager contents when compared to others' but i don't mind that now because i enjoyed my past days a lot being busy with a new little loving thing that had come into my life just two and a half weeks past.I am talking about the little baby squirrel that i got from our backyard when the man who plucks the coconut from the trees had orphaned it from its mother.I wanted to return it back to its mama, but she was nowhere to be found. So i thought of waiting till evening and so i put the baby along with its nest between the pepper climber on the arecanut tree. But, you know, i have got a demon cat in my home which loves to give the death penalty to squirrels. So it was not safe for the baby on that tree since my cat is an excellent tree climber. So me and my sis waited patiently a bit far from the tree watching out for the cat and waiting for the mama to come and then the cat came and saw that there was a squirrel in that nest, i was just about to catch the cat before it started climbing the tree, that the baby's mama who was seeing everything from up above the nearby coconut tree (about which we were unaware) jumped upon the cat to save its kid. I have never witnessed such bravado from any animal before. It was such an act of great motherly love. The cat caught the mother in the mouth and ran inside the house. Me and my sis ran behind him and caught the cat and the mother ran outside the house faster and luckily, it escaped but i dont know if it survived or not because till today she hasn't come back for her child.
So, from that day,the baby squirrel became my little "Tutu". For the first two days, he didn't bother to even come out of the nest.The whole two days it sat in its nest but when i gave milk to it in an ink filler, it showed its mouth out and drank some drops. The third day, i decided to take it out of its nest and i gave it a clean cloth to nuzzle.After a couple days, he started eating grapes and water melon. He just loved grapes and whenever i gave him one, he will jump upon me and eat it all. It was such a sweet sight. Every evening i came home from office enthusiastically to be with my Tutu. I would enter the room, lock it from inside and put Tutu inside my top because he loved to hide inside my dress.On some afternoons, he would even sleep inside there. He would rub noses with me and run all over me.I really started to love him a lot more than i thought.
It was three days back that we got another squirrel from our bathroom the same age as Tutu. It was a bit more experienced with its surroundings and tried to run from us but we were afraid the cat would catch it and so we caught it and thought would give Tutu a friend and then after some days will leave both together. Tutu became good friends with her. They would sit together, play upon each but the new squirrel didn't eat anything from our hands and neither did it come to our side. It was afraid of us. So we decided to leave both to their kingdom outside soon and today was that destined day for their freedom. Tutu was still not ready, i knew that but the other squirrel was getting weaker day by day because of its caged feeling and not eating anything, it was not right to keep it any longer inside and I didn't want Tutu to be alone when he entered the outside world. So i took them both to my neighbor's courtyard and left them both near a tree but the new one ran off leaving Tutu sitting on my shoulder. Tutu held on to me afraid to merge into the new surroundings. I urged him to go with the new one but he remained stuck to me. I hadn't slept a wink last night thinking what will happen to Tutu if i leave him outside. I was so worried, so i was half-minded about leaving Tutu away from my sight and so brought him back to my home but i wanted him to know that his life was upon the trees and not in a confined room. So i decided to put him on the mango tree at our backyard which was a really really bad idea. My sis and myself had tried one time to put him on that same mango tree and by evening when it was going to start raining we had tried hard to get him back from that tree because once on the tree he seemed to forget who we were but at last had caught him and brought back to safety. So this time, when he saw that tree, he just climbed up and ran up to the top. I was happy for him but i was a little doubtful about leaving him there because of our cat. He always waits for any squirrel to slip and fall. I knew everything, damn it!!! Still, i left him there. I thought i was giving him freedom but never thought i am giving him freedom from his life itself. I sent him up there near 8 o'clock in the morn and every 10 minutes i went to see if he was still there and also checked where the cat was. I called him a few times to come down and eat the grapes i had kept for him, but he didn't listen and ran more up again.The time was 11.30, i was still checking on him every 10 minutes. The last 10 minutes i checked on him, he was standing on the top of the tree hanging on the middle branch. For the last 20 minutes, he had been up in that same position.I went inside and was chopping some onion when i heard a squirrel's cry!!! I ran out and what i saw was heart wrenching.The cat was standing right under that mango tree with Tutu in its mouth. I shouted and ran at him. He ran faster than me and jumped over the wall to the ground beyond. I too jumped after him. He didn't keep the squirrel down even for a second. When he saw me running after him, he jumped back into our courtyard. I cried and jumped behind him. He ran again around the well and suddenly he disappeared. I couldn't make out where he went. Not inside the house, not around the courtyard, nowhere was he. I cried out his name loud but there was no other sounds other than my shivering voice. I turned and looked at our neighbor's plantation ground beyond the wall. There was the cat with the squirrel down at his feet. He had finished him and was sitting near it with victory shining in its eyes. I jumped that wall and ran to the place but.......every thing was over....My Tutu had left this dark world forever leaving me teary eyed. I took its soft, small body in my palm.I can still feel the warmth of it in my hands.There were no wounds on the body. He had died of shock. His eyes were half closed. I closed them completely. I cried aloud not even thinking of the surroundings. I jumped the wall back into my courtyard and just sat there in the mud. I don't know if i was out of my senses. But it was bitter grief that i felt at that time. My heart was breaking into pieces just looking at my beloved little thing. I don't know how long i sat there and cried. My face was all smeared with sweat and tears and i was feeling weary. No one was at home today when all this happened, so i was at my own free will to cry howmuchever i wanted.
Then my sister came and she too cried and we buried him near the coconut tree from which we had first got him.I have heard from some preacher that we should never ask God "why this happened" when something terrible happens in our life. It's some sort of questioning which God never wants to hear from us. We are his creatures and we should recieve what he gives us. He wants us to accept everything, good or bad, without questioning him.But what should i ask to god in such circumstances other than "WHY?" If God wanted to take him away from me in such a grotesque manner, why didn't he do it before itself? Before it became my pet?? I know i am half responsible for its death. I shouldn't have let it go when it was so young. I should have waited but if i had waited for some more time he would be more alienated from nature than ever. I didnt want him to be an ignorant squirrel. But i also didn't want him to die like this. I dont know who should be blamed here....my amma who asked me to leave it on the trees as soon as i can so that it does not become alienated or myself who left it on that particular tree for the cat to catch or the cat itself who caught such innocent creatures for fun or God who wanted to take him back to his world...Wherever he is now, i know he will have become a little angel with wings on his sides, i can imagine him like that now....He will forever dwell in my heart....Adieu my angel....
So, from that day,the baby squirrel became my little "Tutu". For the first two days, he didn't bother to even come out of the nest.The whole two days it sat in its nest but when i gave milk to it in an ink filler, it showed its mouth out and drank some drops. The third day, i decided to take it out of its nest and i gave it a clean cloth to nuzzle.After a couple days, he started eating grapes and water melon. He just loved grapes and whenever i gave him one, he will jump upon me and eat it all. It was such a sweet sight. Every evening i came home from office enthusiastically to be with my Tutu. I would enter the room, lock it from inside and put Tutu inside my top because he loved to hide inside my dress.On some afternoons, he would even sleep inside there. He would rub noses with me and run all over me.I really started to love him a lot more than i thought.
It was three days back that we got another squirrel from our bathroom the same age as Tutu. It was a bit more experienced with its surroundings and tried to run from us but we were afraid the cat would catch it and so we caught it and thought would give Tutu a friend and then after some days will leave both together. Tutu became good friends with her. They would sit together, play upon each but the new squirrel didn't eat anything from our hands and neither did it come to our side. It was afraid of us. So we decided to leave both to their kingdom outside soon and today was that destined day for their freedom. Tutu was still not ready, i knew that but the other squirrel was getting weaker day by day because of its caged feeling and not eating anything, it was not right to keep it any longer inside and I didn't want Tutu to be alone when he entered the outside world. So i took them both to my neighbor's courtyard and left them both near a tree but the new one ran off leaving Tutu sitting on my shoulder. Tutu held on to me afraid to merge into the new surroundings. I urged him to go with the new one but he remained stuck to me. I hadn't slept a wink last night thinking what will happen to Tutu if i leave him outside. I was so worried, so i was half-minded about leaving Tutu away from my sight and so brought him back to my home but i wanted him to know that his life was upon the trees and not in a confined room. So i decided to put him on the mango tree at our backyard which was a really really bad idea. My sis and myself had tried one time to put him on that same mango tree and by evening when it was going to start raining we had tried hard to get him back from that tree because once on the tree he seemed to forget who we were but at last had caught him and brought back to safety. So this time, when he saw that tree, he just climbed up and ran up to the top. I was happy for him but i was a little doubtful about leaving him there because of our cat. He always waits for any squirrel to slip and fall. I knew everything, damn it!!! Still, i left him there. I thought i was giving him freedom but never thought i am giving him freedom from his life itself. I sent him up there near 8 o'clock in the morn and every 10 minutes i went to see if he was still there and also checked where the cat was. I called him a few times to come down and eat the grapes i had kept for him, but he didn't listen and ran more up again.The time was 11.30, i was still checking on him every 10 minutes. The last 10 minutes i checked on him, he was standing on the top of the tree hanging on the middle branch. For the last 20 minutes, he had been up in that same position.I went inside and was chopping some onion when i heard a squirrel's cry!!! I ran out and what i saw was heart wrenching.The cat was standing right under that mango tree with Tutu in its mouth. I shouted and ran at him. He ran faster than me and jumped over the wall to the ground beyond. I too jumped after him. He didn't keep the squirrel down even for a second. When he saw me running after him, he jumped back into our courtyard. I cried and jumped behind him. He ran again around the well and suddenly he disappeared. I couldn't make out where he went. Not inside the house, not around the courtyard, nowhere was he. I cried out his name loud but there was no other sounds other than my shivering voice. I turned and looked at our neighbor's plantation ground beyond the wall. There was the cat with the squirrel down at his feet. He had finished him and was sitting near it with victory shining in its eyes. I jumped that wall and ran to the place but.......every thing was over....My Tutu had left this dark world forever leaving me teary eyed. I took its soft, small body in my palm.I can still feel the warmth of it in my hands.There were no wounds on the body. He had died of shock. His eyes were half closed. I closed them completely. I cried aloud not even thinking of the surroundings. I jumped the wall back into my courtyard and just sat there in the mud. I don't know if i was out of my senses. But it was bitter grief that i felt at that time. My heart was breaking into pieces just looking at my beloved little thing. I don't know how long i sat there and cried. My face was all smeared with sweat and tears and i was feeling weary. No one was at home today when all this happened, so i was at my own free will to cry howmuchever i wanted.
Then my sister came and she too cried and we buried him near the coconut tree from which we had first got him.I have heard from some preacher that we should never ask God "why this happened" when something terrible happens in our life. It's some sort of questioning which God never wants to hear from us. We are his creatures and we should recieve what he gives us. He wants us to accept everything, good or bad, without questioning him.But what should i ask to god in such circumstances other than "WHY?" If God wanted to take him away from me in such a grotesque manner, why didn't he do it before itself? Before it became my pet?? I know i am half responsible for its death. I shouldn't have let it go when it was so young. I should have waited but if i had waited for some more time he would be more alienated from nature than ever. I didnt want him to be an ignorant squirrel. But i also didn't want him to die like this. I dont know who should be blamed here....my amma who asked me to leave it on the trees as soon as i can so that it does not become alienated or myself who left it on that particular tree for the cat to catch or the cat itself who caught such innocent creatures for fun or God who wanted to take him back to his world...Wherever he is now, i know he will have become a little angel with wings on his sides, i can imagine him like that now....He will forever dwell in my heart....Adieu my angel....
1 nailing:
A nice touchy post.
Let Tutus soul rest in peace !
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