September 22, 2008

Here I am...

Posted by Ams at 9/22/2008 03:42:00 PM 3 nailing

It's funny to think how things move on each day in your life, it's even more funny to realize that you are always being watched by someone around, it might be your folks at home, it might be your neighbors, it might be your colleagues, it might even be people unknown on the blog, whew!!! sounds a bit direful now that i really think about it (wont tell you why). But it's also at times a bit soothing and encouraging to know that people really appreciate you for what you are doing, even if it's the most crappiest thing. I am saying all this now because last week i found out that Vims caught me up here from my hiding and that was a bit unexpected because my name is nowhere on this blog and i'd really have loved to be anonymous. Well, so everything happens for a reason is what i believe and so this might also be holding a good reason in the days ahead. Today, i feel like i am missing something. Maybe because i am a bit cloudy in mind about what is happening in my life. I got into a small fight with sissy, dont know why she keeps on doing things that i ask her not to do again and again. I wanted to stop all that and make her behave but i think the way i chose was wrong. She interpreted it in her own language and that has lead her away from me. My mother too supports her at such times which makes me really really really raging. Well, that apart, things are going well.

I finished reading You Are Here by my favorite blogger. I ordered it through Flipkart and managed to get a copy at a discount prize (my first book to order from home). But i think i was a bit disappointed with her book because i could find the same incidents that she had described in her blog in her book also. A person who has read her complete blog will not be in for any surprise in this book. I don't know why i like her writing when normally people who read real good literature, the classic stuff can never accept her way of writing. Her use of the language is so rough-cut at times that it might make you gasp after each chapter. But overall the book was good for light reading and it did bring into light many of the maverick things happening in urban (could also call ultramodern) India.

Reading has always been with me since my childhood, starting with children's favorite balarama, a malayalam weekly because that was the cheapest one at hand in those days from my 2nd std. I had a friend Deepa at that time who was my neighbor. We used to share balaramas and read them together. It was real fun. Then we both shifted from that place and were separated but my source of new new books at that time was Deeps. So i used to take pain to travel about half an hour from my home on holidays to her home and also in the evening after school. Her house was on the way from our school (we used to be in the same school), so i always took time and went to her home once in a while in the evenings so that i don't miss any of her new books. Her house was in such a place all surrounded by plants, so the place used to charm me because even in summer, it was very cool inside her house and as her mom,dad, and bro will be out always, we used to have our time with books and chatting and playing without any break. The bread upma that we used to prepare, the maggi noodles, the raw mango with salt and chilly powder which used to give us company during our reading hours even now makes my mouth water. Last month she got married to a guy from Bihar. I never remember her being such a gumptious (you really need some guts to do this) person who would have 'taken the pain to love' a person, that too someone from North India and then go to the point of marrying him. Unfortunately, i couldn't attend the wedding (but i really wanted to). But i dont know, she might have changed. I lost touch with her after my 10th, so am not someone to give my opinion about her guts. Now, lets get back to books. After my craze for Balarama wore off, i started subscribing to Gokulam (which i happened to get from one of my classmates and absolutely loved) which i adore even now. It's an excellent children's monthly which cost just Rs. 5 at that time (but recently, i happened to get an edition and i think now it's not as good as it used to be, the pages are less and the cost is more and the articles were also not up to the mark) . I used to wait for it eagerly from my 6th std onwards. I stopped the subscription in my 9th (might be i ceased to be a kid, by then, :) did i?) Then from 9th i started to read some serious books (which i thought were serious but found out otherwise later) and they were mostly books by Enid Blyton,
Malory Towers being my favorite. I also adored Famous Five. I even used to wait for the Saturday afternoon show of Famous Five on Doordarshan (that being our only cableless TV channel at that time). So that's all about my childhood reading.

Will continue my reading journey in the next post....Love you all out there....Tc till then....

September 13, 2008

Life is full of surprises...

Posted by Ams at 9/13/2008 07:31:00 PM 2 nailing

Am listening to Ace of Base "dont' go away", a really beautiful song. I feel its lyrics are just made for me. do check out the song once, folks...

So, now, lets get back to what we were talking about, My life, right? I know am not much of an interesting person for someone else to be so much into knowing me, but as of such am not a twerp, if u start to think so. I am a rather blatant person, to tell you the truth when the right moment appears and that moment appears very rarely. So, i thus went into a period of complete freedom and landed in college straight after my 10th. At that time, there was a course called "pre-degree" (i think prepraing to take a degree, in what, i'll have to redefine, so leave it at that) which was later removed from college and put in schools as our plus one/11th and plus two/12th. So, i was one among those lucky dudes who got admission into the last pre-degree batch of our university. And my life really started from there, the first day that i got into college. That's the time i started to realize where i stand in my life. I was with girls all along but i was not the kind of person who was afraid to get near a boy, no, nothing like that. I was pretty cool with guys as if they are the same as girls and nothing is special about them that i need to be conscious about.

Before going on to that, i'd like to add that i had a crush for someone who was in my tutions when i was in my 9th std, that went on till my 10th and i really cried a lot on the final day that i thought i am seeing him (which was not the case to be). No, no, i didnt cry in front of him. He was really unaware of my being fond of him, so he is not to blame for my goosy tears. But truly, i thought i loved him, loved him so much that it made my heart break at the thought that i wont be seeing him again (as i happened to hear from another friend's father that he was going to join in another school in 11th). But now when i think about it, there was nothing much to cry about because his house was just 15 min walk from mine, but it was a rather long distance for my heart to travel through to reach him whereas in the tutions, i was able to see him in one single room. So that was a bit of my first crush/love/infatuation or whatever you want to call was.

Now, let's get back to my first day of college. By that time, i had forgotten all about my crush hero and had made my heart realize that there are more important things to do than brood over a lost love. So i was all excited about the first day at college because after 3 years of abstinence from the sight of guys-my-age i was getting to have this opportunity for 2 whole years, so that was something to be thrilled about at that time.

All the four batch students, 2 science with maths, 1 science with biology, and 1 commerce batch were the batches into which we were to go. As per the admission criteria, i was to go to the second, S with B. So i was waiting for my name to be called to join the line when suddenly i heard someone else' name called, that too a name that was so endearing to my ears, "MY CRUSH BUDDY". Oh, i cant explain the happiness that i felt at that particular moment. It was like god had granted me the greatest wish of my life. I strained my neck to get a glimpse of him but could not. Two months had gone by me without seeing him, so i was very anxious to make him know that am back with you once again (even he didnt know the relevance of that)....


Will be continued.....

September 12, 2008

A jump down the memory lane....

Posted by Ams at 9/12/2008 07:13:00 PM 0 nailing

I know it's not an odd title for a new post, coz this could hav happened earlier. I started this blog with the intention of making myself come out of me, u might be knowing how much an introvert wants to break the shell and come out if you are one. This blog was made for that but it never has served its purpose till to-date. So, here is how things lie. To tell you the truth, i was in a kind of funk till an year back. That's half of 2006 and quarter part of 2007 till someone came into my life who made my life i may say "semi-beautiful".

There are times in everyone's life when one wants to enjoy it to the last drop because we are afraid that it'll be lost before we get the maximum out of it. Yeah, that's what happened with me in 2006. It's sad that i didn't have a blog at that time and that's not because i never knew about a blog but it's because i had no pc at that time that i could have an access 24 hours like how i've now. But i am still a bit reluctant to reveal my life's happenings to the root on this blog but i hope i'll eventually get my bluff manner back before long.

As of my childhood, it passed without much trouble from my side to my parents. I was a convent product as people call convent-studying-girls. Yeah, as you have guessed it right, i had boys with me only till my 7th std. After that, it was a long 3-year 'nun-dom', if you may call it so! I passed out my 10th and flew out into real FREEDOM!!!

I am running out of time now, so will continue the rest later, guyzzzz....
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