I Found A New Door ~ Back on the Blog in Full Bloom!!!

Heyyyyy!!!!

It's been a long long long time since I had been on my blog. This time I am in as a new person with a new mind set. Well, my life has been moving at a faster pace since November. When I met you all last time, I had been waiting for the confirmation letter from the company I had got into, and I did get the confirmation the very next day after I wrote my last post. After that, things went into a frenzied state! The letter asked me to reach Faridabad (Haryana) by the 2nd of November!!! There was no way that I could get a reservation on the train and even if I got one I wouldn't be able to reach there on the 2nd!! It will at least take 4 days to reach there and then I will be disqualified from joining the company. So I decided to take a flight to Delhi on 1st Nov. The training that was to begin on 3rd Nov will take two months to get over and the accommodation and all such things was to be taken care of by the company. I packed up my things, bought whatever I wanted for the two months there and reached Coimbatore airport on 1st morning. The flight was at 10.30 a.m. and my mom,papa and sis accompanied me. One of my old office colleague was also with us.

I had butterflies in my stomach because of three reasons: The first was that I was going to fly for the first time in my life. The second was that Delhi was very much new to me as I have never travelled north and the third was that I was going to meet my dearest friend for the first time at Delhi. Amma had asked him to take me to my training centre as we had nobody else staying in Delhi whom we knew closely, so he was going to be my caretaker for the d-day.

I bid goodbye to amma, papa and anju and amma started crying and I boarded the flight at sharp 10.30. I too had tears in my eyes, tears for leaving my family for two months and at the same time tears of thankfulness to god for giving me this special opportunity. I am so grateful to him for all the luck that I had lately found in my life. It was a very nice experience flying through the clouds. Luckily, I got a window seat and soon I forgot about land. I had brought a book to read but I never felt like reading it in the new world that I was in.

At last, by 2 o'clock I landed at Delhi airport and my friend was waiting there for me impatiently. It was the first time I was meeting him and I felt so happy and I saw tears in his eyes because of the happiness that he felt in his heart. I could feel his happiness within a few seconds of being with him. We boarded a taxi. One of his acquaintance had also accompanied him and I talked and talked till we reached my training centre. I had so many things to talk to him but I felt like he was finding it difficult to form his feelings into words. I was happy for him too. At last, we had met!!! After we reached the training centre, the people there told us that they had arranged accommodation for me just for that night at a nearby hotel because our accommodation at the training centre will only be ready by 2nd evening. So we drove there and I got a room to share there with a girl whom I had already met for the medical test. I bid goodbye to my friend and thanked him for coming this far just to recieve me and take me safely to my place. He had an exam the day after and he had come to meet me in between his time for studies by travelling one whole night. He is a real gem of person in my life whom I got because it was pre-destined, I feel.

On 2nd, the three of us (one more girl was there in the hotel) reached the training centre. It was a beautiful place. I happened to hear from people there later that it had been a 3-star hotel years back and now they have changed it into a training college. It's a huge place with a beautiful garden and surroundings. I would say Faridabad is not a good choice to stay for a long time because these days, it's too polluted. It's very hard to walk through the roadside without being dumped with dust. But the college had a good environment. We had a badminton court, facility to play table tennis and carroms and various other games, a swimming pool and a gym inside the college. All our certificates were verified on the first day and the training was to start from 3rd. The certificate verification went on till night 9 o'clock. We were all damn tired waiting and waiting for it to finish. We met people from various parts of the country and we could see the unity in diversity there.

The next day, that is, on the 3rd, our training started. Myself and a guy named Abhinav (a chubby baby looking boy) were the ones who gave the welcome speech to the CMD. It was a great beginning and our trainers were real good people. I will never forget the friendly Wahab sir, the mic-volumed Khurana sir, the uncomprehensible Jaiswal sir (principal) and our sweet Mudita ma'm. We were 60-people in that batch and people from almost all the states of India were there. Each person in the batch was special in their own way. I felt great to be a part of that lot. Every evening we were asked to write up that day's happenings in a diary and submit it the next morning and we used to get marks also for that. We also had a factory visit to a nearby factory and that was also a good experience (especially the lunch that we had after the factory visit was memorable!

We had small shopping sprees to all nearby markets in the evenings after our training. It was fun to shop at a very new place and the price there was extremely less for things which we won't be able to see in our place. We bought so many nicknacks. My roommate was three months' carrying at that time, so she used to have difficulties adjusting with the food and environment but other than that, things went fine. She was an excellent speaker and she became my good friend. Our other roommate was a silent person but she too was easy to adjust with and she was a good hearted person. We three used to joke about things and make fun of every possible circumstance that comes our way. We were a group of very jovial people. My friend used to imitate everyone in our class so well and we used to have a good time in our room rolling on the floor laughing. We used to go shopping together and every time that we went out we three ended up returning with our pockets empty!!!

Everything was going great until..........my ON-THE-JOB TRAINING!!!!!

Will tell you all about it in the next post!

Blogging is FUN...

...If there are people to read what you write!!! This is something that I realized so late. I thought I blogged for my own satisfaction but how wrong was I because every time I open my page i look at the right hand side of the page to check on the Feedjit as to see did any people visit (not read) my page after I logged out. So that makes it clear that I am happy when people visit me. So I take this chance to thank every one who visited my page and I would also like to tell you all to stay here as long as you wish because you are who make me want to blog again (woooosh, I have admitted that at last!)

So it might be interesting for you to know what has been happening in my life lately. Well, I had a big surprise in wait for me this month which I was totally unaware of (of course I know surprises are unawares,I just mentioned it to make you curious). The month bloomed as usual, October with all its cool dewy mornings and hot humid days and me getting up, dressing up, riding up to my office! Well, that's the usual! So on Oct 12th, I was feeling a bit down about going to office, so thought will sit at home and work, yeah, that's an advantage that I have at my work and that's what I love about my work. So all bedraggled from last night's sleep (you dare not imagine me that way, mind it!) I booted my system and started working. By 11 o'clock the power supply and internet started to alternately come and go. I got so upset that I got ready to go to office itself rather than wasting my time and energy sitting and restarting the computer! Then I had an afterthought, why not make use of the opportunity to take a good break and cool off for some time till the power and internet stabilizes. Okay, so I decided to do so, called the office and told them there is problem over at home, so I am waiting for things to settle! Just a few minutes after the phone call, I heard the postman's bell ringing and my mother was running to receive something and then she called my name aloud (for I was perched upstairs in my den). So I ran down and he gave me an envelope that had come through speed post. I wondered what was that and lo, it was then that I saw the logo in front of the cover! I was stormed for sure but I was also suspicious as to what it might contain. Anyway, I signed it and ran inside the house yelling 'amma, it's from X Ltd.' (let that be a secret for now). Amma also was surprised. I tore open the envelope to see that I was asked to come for the final medical checkup before entering the company for which I had attended an interview at Hyderabad and had lost all hopes of getting that job when the result had been published. But I don't know how this happened, maybe God hasn't left me to fight alone. So I was overjoyed, my amma began to cry, and many melodramatic things happened. I went for the medical test that week itself, was certified fit by the doctor and finally I am waiting for the confirmation letter from the company.

So there ends my quest for a better job. Now I am sad that all the books that I had bought after I knew I was out of the selected candidates for X Ltd. just to ensure that I get a better place the next time I go for a test and interview has all gotten blown. Now the books are lying in front of me but I feel lazy to touch them but I have to because even though am 99% sure about this job, I shouldn't stop trying for the good opportunities that come my way, I am having two exams next month, so am probably hoping to touch the books soon.

This month I also had to take a brash move against S. He had visited my town after a long time and I purposely avoided him because I don't know why, but today, I don't hold the attraction that I had held for him in the yester years . Sometimes I loathe the way he talks and the way he shows off about his job and blah-blah. Last week, he had called me saying he wanted to come home and see me. I made excuses of plans to visit my cousin's home and evaded him. He called thrice to know when I might be available, but I made myself unavailable and I think he will be on his journey back to Mumbai by now. I did such a hateful act because there is no use of pursuing situations or making someone pursue situations which don't deliver the goods that you desire (you know what I mean). I have learned the simple fact of life from all these years of living, and that is to say "NO" when you really really don't want it in your life, be it a person, a situation, or whatever you think is unjustifiable to your conscience.

I got a request the week before from a friend that I have mentioned here before. He wanted me to sent him the song, hearing which he had fallen head over heals for me, in my own voice. The song is "Chaha he Tujhko" from Mann. I have half-agreed to sing it for him because it's been a long time since I sang for someone. He is a precious person, I do miss him but I don't want to move to his side because I know eventually I will be hurting his feelings because I don't nurture the same feelings that he has for me. So today, I just brushed off my headphone's mic but unfortunately (for him!!!) my mic is out of order!!! Hoooohahaha, now I will have to get a head fone from office and then sing it for him, now that is sure gonna take some time, so you will have to patiently wait for it, dude!!

What else, so that's the briefing on what has been going on with me that I wanted to write here since the surprise letter that I received. So till I see you all next time, Happy Blogging !!

True to the Core!!!

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is medium. You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love... But you've definitely been burned enough to know better. You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist. Independence: Your independence is high. You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love. Having your own life is very important for you... Even more important than having a relationship.

The Five Variable Love Test

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

I didn't imagine this quiz would turn out with so many self-analyzed facts !!! It truly portrays my concept of the much hashed out feeling "Love" !

I wish...

I wish someone would tell me something incredibly profound. I wish my heart would beat beat beat in time with theirs and things I want to say wouldn’t get caught in my throat like my hair gets caught in my fingers and ties itself into knots. I wish the voice in my head didn’t say the things it does, because of all the people I can trust in the world I shouldn’t be one of them. That’s why I listen to music louder than the sounds of the late-night television programs like poker competitions and bad films starring bad actors. And in the middle of the cacophony of sounds the only thoughts I can hear are the singer’s, the whisperer’s, the poet’s, infinitely better and wiser. Wiser even than the stars. I bet they don’t trust themselves either. I bet lots of people don’t when they’ve fallen down the rabbit hole and felt a heartbreak or three. Boys didn’t break my heart you know, I did. I break it all the time. I’m breaking it right now and I don’t even know why.

Adopted from Tumbler

Are you afraid of death?

Okay, so again I have took the help of Creativity portal for today's post. It's not because there was nothing to write about but it was because I wanted to write about something that's no-nonsense, something other than my random thoughts. So I chose this and what I got was "Am I afraid of death?"

Before I started writing this, I did a bit of research as to the exact day of my death. I know that was something foolish of me, but anyway, I did it. Now, my buddies, don't ever mistake me. I am not afraid of death, truly, really, am not. Yeah, so my answer to the above question is already in front of you. I know there are many among us who are afraid to die but there might be several reasons behind that and I do respect those reasons. For me, death is the beginning of an unknown realm which we are to tread compulsorily. So why be afraid. Were we afraid to be born on earth? No idea. Were we afraid to live on this earth? Definitely, yes. I am still afraid to live on this earth. Fear comes in all forms when I consider "how will I live till my last breath." This might sound ridiculous to you, but really, one doesn't know what lies ahead, so one has to be afraid. But in the case of death, that doesn't happen. Once we die, it won't be this same, it won't be like will I be able to look after myself? Will I have the money to live a beautiful life forever? Will I be healthy till the end of my life? will I be able to find my love? will I be able to have kids? Will I be able to live without meeting a road accident? Will I be able to cook tasty food for my hubby? Will I be?Will I be?? These are all the horrors that lie ahead, but once we die am sure we needn't worry about such things and hope there won't be a life after death.

Actually, Death' is the greatest enigma in life. It has baffled humankind from times out of mind. And yet despite all attempts to solve the mystery, it has remained as mysterious as ever before. I do have confusions in my mind as to what is death. Do we really die, or do we have a soul that lives on apart from the body? For every living being, death is shocking and unexpected. Even for me, that moment when I die will be shocking even if am not afraid of death. Can we pinpoint just what death is? Do we have immortal souls? Are we conscious after we die? Are we destined to go somewhere to experience some form of reward or punishment? What is really going to happen when we die? It's not fear that you can feel in these questions, it's anticipation or curiosity or excitement about the unknown. That's what death means for me. A journey from known to unknown.

I would like to think of death as a journey into a peaceful kingdom where nothing worries you or ails you. So if anybody who is reading this is afraid of death, just read the The Letter from Heaven and be a changed man...

Love you all my bloggie buddies...

You Should Be With an Air Sign

Your best match is a Gemini, Libra, or Aquarius You crave excitement and playful banter. Only an air sign can match your wit. An air sign will keep you on your toes and keep you interested. Your air sign will bring you fun, excitement, and surprises. Sounds like your perfect playmate! So this is what Blogthings predicted for me. Any air sign guyz freaking out there?? You are welcome to join me (even though am already with one, LOL)...We can of course freak out together, what say?

What Sign Should You Be With?

Super Girl is yearning for a peaceful heart...

Okay, so it's been a long time since I had been here, but you know that's not unusual for the woman that I am, lazy, procrastinating, and sleepy.But I had been on the blog world a lot in these days, it's just that I couldn't get out of my hibernation on my blog.

I've gotten a lot busy these days trying to acquire a much better job since it is recession time and you don't know when you'll lose your job even though I have got a secure job at hand but am still under the mercy of the Americans. If they decide to stop sending jobs to India, I might end up jobless. So just in case....That's why am struggling these days for a more secure jobe in the banking field. Got not even one day off of my schedule. I have got classes on Sunday and most of the afternoons when I am having less jobs at office. So that's what I have been busy at. I have got some pressure from my coach about taking a leave before the exams that I am intending to take up, but I am just not ready to take a leave from my job for the exams even though I know it might turn worthy. Anyway, let's see what happens.

Today is Eid-Ul-Fitr. The holy day of the Muslims. While passing through the Muslim dominated area on the way to my office, I could get a waft of the biriyani from the houses all along. Long back, I was very religious and considered my religion to be the best but not now. Now, am a secular person. Maybe my life circumstances made me to believe in secularism to survive in this world. I realized that man has only one religion and that is humanity. We all offer our prayers to a supreme power who we believe created us. So now I don't need any pictures or a cross or any such material things to pray to my god. When I close my eyes, I can see him and feel him and talk to him. My supreme power has no gender. He even becomes a she at times according to what I need to talk to him/her. I, who used to be in the temples at least 15 hours a day during festivals, never visit even once during those days now. I rarely go to temple to see my God. I believe my God walking along with me wherever I am. He saves me and he punishes me. That's what I believe in now.

It's with great agony that I am writing this. Just now, am searching for words to write what's in my heart. I am not at peace. Things are bothering me. The past, the present, and the future. I feel like everything related with me is under a whammy. I feel like I am doomed. The positive spirt in me is dying out. I need to keep myself alert lest I lose myself as an aftermath of the events happening in my life. Part of me is yearning for my lost love (the biggest part). Part of me is yearning for that beautiful life which my parents wanted me to have with someone I couldn't accept. Part of me wants my present, the one who says he is living just for me. I was good at making decisions earlier but now, I have been daunted by strange things in my life. No one will believe it if I tell them that this is what has happened to or is happening in my life. Everybody knows what kind of a girl I am, chirpy, easy going, a bit introverted but still mingling freely with every soul, taking things practically (might be a bit too practically than people of my age). So what is happening to me is something which people who know about me cannot accept. Why should I talk about other people? Even I have become so petulant recently when I think of the uncanny situations I am having in my life.

Sometimes, while riding my bike, I think of becoming a Super Girl, a girl who has got supernatural powers, one who can fly, one who can raise her bike to such speed that people on her way fly off merely by the force of her speed. I imagine myself as a girl in a black attire fully equipped with every harmful weapon in the world to punish those who are cruel to people and animals. How I wish to be of that species!!!

I think I have started rambling a lot. So time to stop it. Let me move on guys to a better tomorrow where my wishes become the wishes of the people around me who love me...

Maybe this is what I am in search of !!!

You Need Security

To be happy in life, you need to feel as secure and grounded as possible. You have to know that things will be okay no matter what. You plan for the worst. You tend to be cautious, and you always think of the long term consequences before you act. Living a low-key, responsible life is the only way to ensure that you can truly relax.

This is what Blogthings has answered for me to the question "What do you need most?"

Being a woman is tough !!!

Hey, no, am not here to talk about feminism or any such stuff ! Am here to just state the fact that men enjoy life more than women because men = women - (female reproductive system). If we, women had something similar to men's RS, we too would have been able to join the fun. Maybe my idea is silly and stupid at the same time because without FRS, women won't be women and their life will be made a sort of hell by the 'normal' people in this world. But as a woman, I will tell you that certainly a woman can live a better life without these monthly flows and carrying babies for 9 months. Am sorry if am offending someone. I do agree that becoming a mother is the greatest joy of a woman's life but it can also turn out to be the greatest sorrow of someone's life if she is forced to bear a child. I know you will agree with me on that in the least. Today, I am writing this not because I saw the miseries of such a person but because I saw the miseries of such a living being who is not a human. It's a stray bitch.

The story goes back to four months. This bitch, whom I started calling 'Pity' (you can guess why I called her that, right?) started standing, sitting, and lying in front of our front gate the day she came to our place. I think she is barely 1 year old. And the reason she started staying 24 hours in front of our house was because of my dog, Johny. He might be the handsome fellow in town for her. So, Pity got a crush on him and she always stayed near our house looking at him. Johny, who usually raises hell if some stray dog walks through the street didn't mind Pity staying there at all. We also never bothered because it was very evident that he was least interested in her as he never looked at her side or even went near the gate when she was lying there.

Thus, one day, hell started for Pity. She was 'in season' and all the stray dogs around our place came to visit her and you know what would have happened. She is such a pitiful sight with lean legs and a lean torso and when you look at her she will swoon and lie on her back with all her legs up in the air to show her love towars us who fed her sweetmeats often. But she was a poor sad sight. And when these villains started coming to her, she couldn't defend them. They used her so badly and she even got hurt in the fight between her lovers. She always came by our house and moaned and we had so many sleepless nights thinking about the plight of this poor thing and the howling of all the dogs, but we couldn't save her because that's the way life is for them.

Thus, she got pregnant with god knows how many inside her. All her lovers vanished after a week or two and she was all alone again with their seeds inside her. The rainy season is going on in our place, so there was no space for her to even sleep properly. Still she carried the children through the four months and last week, she gave birth to two children. The evening before she gave birth, I saw her. She was getting her pain and she had no place to go and lie down. I saw her going here and there and making a hole in the ground near the road and so on for her to lay her children but she couldn't find any place. I was worried the whole night as to where she would have got a place to give birth to. But in the morning, I saw her lying under the plantain trees in the courtyard of our neighbor. Luckily, it hadn't rained that night.

But the next day night, it started raining, actually pouring down heavily. I was restless in my bed that night. I couldn't sleep thinking of Pity and her fate. I decided to go and have a look at her. It was 1:30 a.m. When I switched on the light, there was no power. I got my mobile in my hands and went downstairs. I grabbed my dad's cap that was lying on his bike and I also got my raincoat out of my bike. I was afraid to make any noise lest my mother will hear me. If she hears, she won't let me go. So I made no noise and slowly climbed the walls and jumped out into the courtyard where she was laying. Usually, I give her biscuits and such when she is in front of our house and she knows the sound of my bike clearly and whenever I come home she will come running from somewhere to get something to eat. But I knew she couldn't recognize me at night because of my raincoat and all. So I was cautious when near them. I had also taken two thick big cardboard pieces to cover them from rain. As I neared the mother and the brood, and called out to her, Pity was caught off guard and jumped up at me 'WHOOF! WHOOF!' I ran so fast towards the wall of my house and the cardboard just flew off behind from my hands. Even my dad's cap fell off somewhere. I didn't bother to take it back because I was afraid she might run and get hold of me at my back if I stayed there. I climbed the wall back (the wall is certainly high, but I did manage it with God's help) and tiptoed upstairs, washed myself and went back to bed. One adventure was enough for one day and that too a fruitless adventure!!!

From that day on, it has been raining continuously with very short breaks in between and Pity and the pups are always wet. I don't know how they managed in the mud until yesterday. Yesterday one of the pups started crying out loud the whole night and no one in the surroundings was able to sleep because of this. Luckily, I have got a great animal lover near my home. She loves animals like anything. I am only second to her in loving animals. She and my mother went to have a look at how things are over there. Then, they found out that one of the pups was on the verge of death and all three of them were lying in the mud and water filled up in the holes that she had dug. She took both of them to her home and gave her own dog's cage to them. Pity was saved with one pup. The other died because it had a big wound on its back from god knows whose bite. Pity had gotten to such a stage that she couldn't take the cold any more. When we put her in the cage, she was shivering and was such a pathetic site with all the mud and muck on her. Last night, both of the saved ones slept a sound sleep in the warmth of the cage. My neighbor had also fed it well. We do feed her now and then, but since my dad was against my stray dog love, I couldn't help it in any other way. But I don't know how many days the pup and mother can be safe at my neighbor's pet's cage. Her people at home don't like this, so as soon as the pup opens her eyes, she will have to send them back to the street and the same story will be repeated again.

Seeing all this, I have got just one thing to ask the Great God: When there are so many people in the world who yearn to have a child and are not able to have, why can't god give this reproductive power that he bestows on such stray animals to the individuals who want them? Why can't he make these stray females (even orphaned and penniless women) sterile so that they don't have to go through this hell?

I am also giving you, my friends, something to muse upon: In our country, the amount of money that is spent each day on dog food, cosmetics, and pornography is rougly equivalent to the amount of money required to feed every starving stomach on the planet, Am I right?

Happy Friendship Day To All My Fellow Bloggers!!!

Today, I would like to send a message to all my friends out there regarding a very serious social issue and am putting this message up just because I happened to hear about it very recently from my dad. Okay, I will share it here with all of you. My dad is one who travels by train to and from his office daily. So on Friday, while traveling from office back home, he happened to witness a strange incident. Some of you may have witnessed such incidents. For some people, it may be a very common thing, but in these parts, this is a very rare or you can say it is hardly a scene that happens in public. Dad happened to be traveling with a drug addict and that too by his description, a girl of my age, ya, a 25 or 26-year-old. She was a really good looking girl, was doped when he saw her but she was speaking clearly in good English and also in Hindi and when people asked her where she was from, she said she was coming back from a rehabilitation center. Her dad and mom seems to be out of India and she is studying somewhere in Bhopal. I used to think that these things happen only in movies but something like that happening to a girl in our community was really horrifying. She was actually a native of our God's own country...

Let me tell you exactly what happened. After telling all this to the people who asked her whereabouts, she went to a guy who was a Tamilian sitting nearby who looked like a thug. Dad was so astonished because this girl was traveling alone and he was sure she was seeing this guy for the first time in her life. She told the guy to come with her for a puff. He was surprised but went with her and shared one or two puffs with her and then came back to his seat. Suddenly, to everybody's surprise, the girl fell down and hit her head on the side wall just after smoking this doped cigarette. She jumped up straight after falling and started mumbling some lame excuse that she had 'fits' but everybody around her knew that she was lying and trying to hide her habit. Then she asked the people sitting there where her seat number was and when they told her she went off to her far off seat in the next compartment.

But after sometime, to everybody's surprise, she came back and called this same man again to come with her. Just imagine a girl like that calling such thugs to give her company. This man was willing to go but his friends warned him that he might get into trouble, so he said 'no' to the girl and it seems she went off to search another partner. According to what dad saw, the girl was very much in her senses even if she was doped but at times her consciousness was gettng shadowed because she was opening her bag, searching for something, then closing it again, then again opening, a sign of restlessness could be seen in her. Her lips showed white patches due to long term cigarette use. Dad was so much upset when he reached home. It was like he couldn't take her out of his mind. But, he was helpless.

I don't know why people are destroying their life in the hands of dope. Why smoke? Why drink? Why get doped? There are crores of people on earth who suffer because they are blind, they are deaf, they are invalid, they have no hands, no legs, such incapacities which we can't even imagine about. There are so many who are diseased with cancers, HIV, and many such serious illnesses. When we are blessed with everything, we don't value anything. We sell it to these dangerous substances which take off our senses, and finally our life. Why should we do this when we have so many good things to perceive around us?Why lose our senses to such poisonous products? Really, I don't get it. Please someone tell me why you enjoy doing it if you are still doing it.

Blog Swap '09 !

Am so thrilled to present you today my partner for this year's blog swap and she really has got some interesting things to tell us....So, here goes.....


Sister, Sister

Halo, hola, 玟邸羋祀肢, hej, and hello Internets! Usually, you can find me over at Somewhere In Between, but today, I was fortunate enough to be paired with the lovely Ams for the 20SB blog swap!

"I could never love any as I love my sisters!" I think Jo March was onto something when she uttered those infamous words in the movie, Little Women (based on my all time favorite book by Louisa May Alcott!). There is something so unique about the bond between sisters - an unshakable, untouchable affinity that, if you're lucky enough to have a sister, you experience for a lifetime.

Sure, we have our squabbles here and there (when you're competing for the attention of mom and dad...and sometimes, the same potential boyfriend!, there's sure to be some bickering along the way), but no matter what the situation, what mood I'm in, I've always got a friend, a confidant, a mirror, and a voice of reason in my corner (not to mention, twice the clothes in our communal closet!!).

I'm fortunate enough to have two younger sisters (and a sister-in-law!) who I've been through every imaginable walk of life with. There is nothing more reassuring than knowing you've got someone to shadow you through your darkest days, and your highest highs. The darker times seem a little brighter when you've got a sister to sing you a custom song on the spot to the tune of the Golden Girls' theme song (thanks, Lilo!), and the happiest days are just a little happier when you share a memory that makes you cry tears the size of raindrops at the pure hilarity of the situation (take your pick, Bell!).

I feared we would grow apart as we grew older, and time shifted us across the country, but my fears were unfounded, as we've only grown closer with each passing day. Though we constantly laugh at the new stages of life we find ourselves in, I always think back to my favorite memory of my sisters, and it takes me back to our Door Dancin' Days of our childhood. Our bedrooms were across the hall from each other, with Lilo and Bell in one room, and me in the other (after years of the three of us sharing one room...it was a slumber party every night!). We would wait for my parents to head upstairs and shut off all the lights - my sisters quietly pretending to be asleep in their respective bunk beds, and me, staying up to read just one or two more chapters (presumably in Little Women!) with my bedside as my companion. When we could no longer hear the creaks in the floor upstairs, it was our cue to point my bedside light toward the ceiling, and meet in the doorways. Within seconds, we'd be miming our best dance moves across the hall to each other, all the while trying to stifle our laughter. This nightly ritual was entirely ours. A ritual that we still burst into from time to time when we're all together. The exclusivity of our ritual created a sisterly secret society. One that, to this day, no one will ever be able to infiltrate.

Monsters are still alive....

Eeeeyaaah...Am back!!! (Did that sound a bit wild?)...Okay, relax...

I had a pretty hard time selecting a new template for my old blog and I really really got so cracked before I chose the current one. There are a lots of sites claiming they have got good templates with them and it's true from outside but once you enter that site and your eyes fall on a template which you start loving like your own, you really get attached to it, and feel like you cannot do without it and so finally download it and then you realize that the bloody template doesn't work well. Sure, it might show the contents but somewhere it won't make up what you want. The template that I chose first was a beautiful one with a starry sky on top of a white page and it really looked so suitable when linked with my title and on preview it looked good except the dates won't appear on any of my older posts. That was a real disappointment. I am a person who loves white templates, no other color for me, so I had been hunting for one with a beautiful artistry but whenever I found one, it will have a problem somewhere. I even thought of abandoning my search and continuing with my old 'Deer' template but I wanted a change and so decided to look for more. Finally, I landed upon the current one and decided to use it despite its shortcomings.

I am not an expert in programming, so I still haven't found a way to arrange things on my template so that you can click on those top icons and get to those pages which I could have made up if I had found a way to do it. So, till I learn things, those icons will stay idle. So that's all about my tempalte story.

It's been raining continuously from yesterday. I had planned of getting my bike to the service center, so didn't take my raincoat with me thinking about the difficulty of carrying it hither and thither and thus got drenched to the skin on my way back home and my plan also got canceled.

Today at office browsing through, I came over a piece of news which really made me burning through. Read it here: Cruelty at its peak

Such incidents are becoming so common these days and I found out several such incidents after I browsed for more. Cruelty and fun are mixed together these days and that is seen more among the teens. It's true that there have been incidents like this in the past also, even our ancestors used to taunt animals for fun but there is a limit to all that. What if children at this age forget about the pain they inflict on other living things? How much cruel will they grow to be? Is the world being filled up with monsters? Who can put an end to this and make them realize that animals too have pain or is it that these kids don't bother about pain? Is pain a kind of inspiration to them to hurt more?

Surprise !!!

Ok...So I have changed my page's appearance...Hope everyone who comes by this way will like it...Will return back soon to post more...

Love you all, sweet bloggers out there...

Oh *Michael*,You Rock My World !!!

Oh, Michael, You never knew I loved you so much than the whole universe...At the time that you started building your kingdom, I had been a kid and never knew that I would one day live to be your greatest admirer and I never in my dreams thought I'd be as unlucky as to witness the day that you'll say goodbye to me...Sitting alone at a place far from you, I used to watch you climbing those steps toward the kingdom of Music and as I wished and hoped, you did touch the pinnacle of fame...But I also had the misfortune of watching people stoning you for such dingy deeds which an innocent being as you, my love, could never even dream about. Even when those ornery 'ladies&gentlemen' spurned you and taunted you, I never lost faith in you...I wanted you to come back from the tragic events that were happening in your life and I wanted you to believe in yourself and claim the world once more with your elegant music...You were a blessed one, my love...God had really sent you to HEAL THE WORLD...But, these fools around never realized...I always knew you loved children and you were happy being with them and all the way I have realized that's because you too were a child at heart...I love you, Michael...I know you are hearing me from far above and I know you are even watching me now that you can see me...I know I won't hear your human voice ever again in my life but let me tell you one thing...You are still alive in all our hearts, your lovers' hearts and we will never let you slip away into the folds of the past...HAIL, MY PRINCE, MY MICHAEL....

Titles Of My Dream Books

It's for the first time am trying out brain knocking and I came upon the above idea. So what would be those 5 titles that I would give my dream book (which I haven't even planned to write in my dreams, LOL)...???

1. You, Me, and Them: I know it sounds so common and so simple a title but this will be the story of a girl, her precious one, and the villains that will enter their life because of her precious one's clandestine network of relationships which the innocent girl will be unaware of. Sounds a bit gruesome, right? Of course, no doubt, this is a thriller. But don't worry, such a book is sure not to see the light of day. LOL..

2. Secrets of the Nature: In this book, I will write about all those things under the sun which are really awe-inspiring to man other than man himself. It'll tell the story of animals and birds and plants in such a beautiful way that anyone who love nature will buy this book. So this is going to be a real hit, mark my words.

3. Fairies of Silver Land: As the book's name goes, this will be a book for children in which they will come face-to-face with fairies in a fantasy world of their own which will be an all silvery, shiny world (I dont know why am obsessed with silver, LOL). Every child will make a big din if this book is not bought for them by their mamma. So, beware and watch out for this one, young mammas.

4. Monster Mamma: Sounds similar to monster-in-law, but never mind. This one I promise is going to be different. This is the story about the agonies of a mother who becomes misjudged by her children who never try to understand her or what her feelings are or what she wants from her beloved people in the house or how much she wishes for their love. So, let's wait for this one. This is surely going to make you love your mamma more.

5. Love Always Stays Hidden in Our Hearts: This will be a book which will become my masterpiece which will make people forget Romeo&Juliet. I am not kidding guyz, It surely will. If otherwise, 'I will eat my hat' (slang borrowed from DB's Deception Point).

Now that I remembered Deception point, let me talk about that too. I finished two books the last week (pls dont mistake me because I only finished reading it last week though I started those two long back) - Dan Brown's Deception Point and Stephanie Meyer's Eclipse.

As far as Dan Brown goes, he is one of my favorite authors since I read 'The Da Vinci Code.' As all of you know by now, it was a great thrilling read and the mystery hidden in the pages was fabulous. It made me really glued to its pages. After that, I got hold of 'Angels and Demons' which is now a motion picture and Dan Brown totally won me over with this book. Actually I liked this one better than Da Vinci. Usually when I read an author and I love that first book, all the other books that I read after that won't impress me more than the first but here this was an exception. But this one that I read the last, 'Deception Point' was a bit, a teeny weeny bit disappointing. It had a brilliant plot but I think it was too 'flat' in the sense that it's hero (I think I can consider him the hero), Michael Tolland was depicted as a superhero who can singlehandedly save his heroine from a sinking submarine in the middle of the Atlantic whose doors are stuck up. And the villain of the story, William Pickering, I felt was actually an innocent person who had been forced to kill people even when he never wanted to do so, just to repay those who were responsible for his daughter's death. But the story has got it's Dan Brown touch and it did keep me burn my lamp a bit longer than usual at night (because I read books at my bedtime).

Now the part about 'Eclipse'. I loved, loved, and again loved this paranormal romance. Twilight was a good one (the first part) but New moon disappointed me a bit, but Eclipse was better than anything. More than Edward, I loved Jacob Blake in this book. The love that both of them have for Bella is so warming. But Jacob gets the hard part of sacrificing his love for Bella and the pain that he goes through is really heartbreaking towards the end of the book. If I loved Edward in the other two books, I loved Jacob the best in this one. Now, am looking forward to finishing the last of the series, 'Breaking Dawn' (yeah guys, I've already started with it, I dont like waiting, you know)....

So till my next post, be happy and have a good time!!!

Musings of a twiddling mind....

Again, I have failed to keep my word about blogging regularly. Finally, I have realized the fact that I can blog only when my mind is full and I think that's the reason I chose blogging - to unburden my mind when it's full to the brim. So this is one such day, I suppose when I have lots to talk about here.

I am now walking through that phase of my life where things are going a little slower than I want them to go. I am trying to change my field of career and in another week the results of the interview that I attended last month will clear up the haze in front of me. I had the opportunity to visit Hyderabad for the first time and to tell you the truth, I didn't like what I saw of the city even a bit, might be I chose the wrong places to see the first time. If you ask me, I will say that it's the most crowded compared to any other South Indian cities. The plethora of automobiles in the city roads were just so horrible. I was afraid to even step out of the vehicle lest someone comes and hits you at the flick of an eyelid. I wanted to visit Ramoji Film City but I had only three days' time there and couldn't make it. My foremost wish before leaving Hyd was to have an original Hyderabadi Biriyani and that wish was met at Paradise on the night before I left the city and I owe so much to my friend 'goggles' who helped me find a comfortable accommodation and who even came and took me for sightseeing out there.

These days I am learning new things about life. Life sometimes shows us the humorous part hidden in its folds and one such thing has happened to me in these few days. I had written about my first crush S long back on this blog. I have cried years back thinking I will never be able to make him realize how much I like him and now everything has 'about-turned.' I used to get calls from him about how much he wanted to come to my place and so on because the city he is in is far away and it's hell of a busy one. But the past week I got a strange mail from him saying he wanted to talk to my parents about a proposal for me (wasn't that weird?). It sounded so much like he was making fun of me because the condition that I am in, no one would come to me with such a proposal and I replied in the same humorous way (taking it so lightly because I thought it was meant to be taken that way). But the rest of his mails including the one I got today even after me being so satirical over his replies puts me in dilemma. Is he really, genuinely asking me? If so, I have got only one thing in my mind now, why is god so so so cloying when I least need it? I have no idea. This is one such situation which I had longed for many years back and then finally buried everything connected to it thinking it's such a ridiculous idea (because he and I are so incompatible to each other as I have realized overtime) and the important thing to quote here is that I no longer want to hear about such an idea especially from him. Look how life changes !!! I don't know but I am so scrappy about all these chain of events.

Has there been any such event in your life which you had longed for so much but didn't get hold of it and then suddenly it bounced back in your favor when you least wanted it?

Deviating a bit....My poetic prose....

This is a strange love. Stranger than you have ever heard of. However, strange it may sound like, I can assure that this is true to its core. Experiences are always true, I think I need not tell you that. This is the story of love, a dark, painful, ostentatious kind of love - but still it went unnoticed. No one around even got a whiff of it, everything was happening around them, but still everyone was unaware, blind, as if a sleet of darkness had engulfed everything over, as if I had turned invisible. I loved him. I cannot call him by his name because if I say his name, I might become an outcast. My folks may kill me, give me poison. Every one of my friends and relatives will hate me. But I am not worried about all those. Death is not a macabre for me. If this life gets over, there will always be the next. But, I can't let him suffer because of me. His name, his life, his honour is more precious to me than my own life.

Mulling over my life, I can tell you that this is not the first time that I have been in love. I have loved throughout my life. My love was like a poisonous snake. It always waits for the right one to get in its way so that it can entwine him in its hold. But the ones who got entangled in its hold were all such ignorant pedants who never saw me. I was again invisible in front of them. Let's leave all those gory stories where only I got hurt.

Let's talk about us, me and my lover. I saw him unexpectedly on one such evening when the golden rays of the sun shone brightly through his body and made him look like a statue of gold. His hair were strands of gold and his skin had a golden tan which made me long to touch. His blue eyes shone at the sight of me. His lips gave such a beautiful smile which when rememberd conveys me into the place which we call heaven.

From knowledge gained till this day, let me tell you, married people always lack eyesight whereas a bachelor's eyesight is much much better. Before marriage, a man will adore his girl and can even describe the smallest mole that he found on her cheek as the utmost beautiful thing on earth. But once he gets married to her, he fails to even remember that such a thing exists on her. That's why I hate marriages.

Now, I have no intention of possessing my love. But just because I have got no such intentions, I am going to suffer. The distance between us is a day. I can never reach his side even if I walk hundred miles an hour and I don't know any other means of travel other than to walk, in other words, to crawl as I have been transmuted into the most poisonous snake by my love.

This love I have for him is not only strange but it also gives me excruciating pain to just bring his face into my mind. But what love can be called love if there is no element of pain connected with it? Pain of love should make your heart tear apart. The sword of jealousy should pierce into your heart and pain you. The pain of disappointment should make your heart pain so much. I will cut off my wings to feel that pain. I will then try to fly to him. Blood will drip from the part where my wings had once been. His golden body will turn red with my blood. I will win him over with my blood and pain.

I was jealous to all the girls who came near him. I was jealous with every girl who dared talk to him or even look at him. He was just mine. I decided to reach his side before I lose him to the world's stronger grip. I reached his side. I hugged him, not with my hands but with my soul. I kissed him, not with my lips but with my tears. No girl would have hugged his boy with so much pain burning through her body. My bones were breaking, my flesh was crushing with the horrid pain that I was feeling. Still, I hugged him with love, with true, fearless, strong love because I knew this was the LAST. There won't be another moment like this in this life. Perhaps, our next meeting will be in the next birth. But I knew, at that moment too, I will be crawling in the form that I am today, as a poisonous snake. On that day too, my heart will be torn apart with the same pain that I am having today. Even when separated and far apart, my blood will yearn to blend with your blood with unquenchable thirst for your love.

This was a prose that erupted from my mind after reading a short story by a renowned Malayalam author. Kindly regard this gibberish as that of an immature author's meekly attempt.

Did I miss the train???

The title might have baffled you because I am sitting here and posting on my blog, so how can it be possible for me to miss a train? But I am talking about the train in which my future was residing.Ya, I did miss that train and now it has gone away to such a faraway place from where it's hard for me to drag it back and even if I drag it back I am not optimistic that I can travel happily on that train. It's true that opportunities come only once and it's totally true that a wiser man has to grab the opportunity that comes to him, coldblooded. You should'nt wait to think what will happen to you or your loved ones if you do a particular thing because thoughts are the one thing that can change your life forever. If you are totally not getting into what I am talking about, I will give you the details. Before that, there is a doubt creeping into my mind now: Have I started to make my blog my diary? If so, please don't feel bad about reading me because I have started to trust my page with my life and I am willing to pour out myself on these pages as this is giving me a chance to have a good look at myself and what I was and what I am.

So, you all might have read the poem that I had posted before this. Yeah, it's true that I do love a person madly, madly enough to let myself become his slave if he wants but nothing of that sort is going to happen because even if he knows about me more than anyone else and even if I know about him more than anyone else, he is not willing to make me his better half. The reasons are plenty and I know each and every reason of his by heart. Now you might be wondering, have I given up? Ya, I have sort of given up, but that too for him. There is no point in clinging to a person who doesn't nurture the same feelings that you have for him; moreover, if he is having second thoughts about me as to whether this relation could bring him happiness or not or will this relationship break off all his other relationships, there is no meaning in hanging on to him. Hang on to the person who can make you feel secure, make you feel his but here nothing of that sort is there.

It's true that I have been loving him so deeply from the time he came into my life and he knows that well but he is not ready to accept it in front of the world and partly, I have given him the reasons for not doing so, that 's my mistake, I agree, but he knows the situation that changed my life forever. He knows how much I have gone through, how much I suffered. Still, he is not ready yet for anything risky. How can I make him understand that this is not a risky thing? This is his life, more than mine, I want his happiness. He knows I can never make him sad like I did to others but when will he realize it completely and return to me? I still don't know for sure if that will happen.

Everything happened in the December of 2005. Let's call him 'my guy.' I knew him long before but had never met him except twice when i was studying. He is one of my relations (and pretty close that is) but I was not very familiar with him because he never used to come for any of our family occasions. In that unfortunate month, there at my cousin's wedding, I met him after many long years. It was surprising to know that he was a very fun loving dude and he made friends with all of my cousins very soon. Nothing much happened on that day but my phone number got passed to him through his sister. It was not purposely done, among all of my cousins' numbers, he got my number too. After coming home, his image was lurking in my mind (but I knew that it will pass) but didn't take much notice of my feelings at the time because I knew much better than anybody else that he was not my type and I was not his but I wanted to keep him among my friends' group, so just messagd him from my phone (The 1st Biggest Mistake of My Life). That's how everything got started........

A Forgotten Art...

This poem has been lying on the pages of my diary for a long long time, say two and a half years...Now it's my blogger friends' choice to read it or not to relive the pain I went through not once but many times after that unfortunate day and am still living through that same pain.....

I exist now dreaming in reality, shades of deep reds and grays,
Evolving at the speed of light
As my third eye sees all, I bring my fingers to my lips and time stops
I taste you.
I ponder you and wallow in the memory of your scent and way.

How you called me baby
The way you made me laugh
The way you touched my heart and made me
believe

Unable to stop, it seems too wonderful,
but in the end there is not much but pain.
I allow this for some time, then I awake
and know that I am alive and the possibilities are endless.
Wanting you to taste my soul
and undeniably know that I am the one
and we are one to conquer happiness together,
unimaginably, the way you knew that we could
and will if you say one word,

Yes!

Your fear. Your ego. Your pride. They protect and also hurt you,
keeping you from what is rightfully yours,

Love.

If I had your heart again?
Oh, the way I would touch it, nurture it
and protect it
My most sacred gift
God wants what I want,
he trusts me and knows my light is pure as he does you.
Say the word once.

The heavens will open up and the angels will sing in our praise

Because we chose.

Please don't be afraid, I am always here for you.

I Love You.

You Want to Impress Strangers

You want strangers to think you're attractive. You want to be seen as gorgeous and sexy. You want everyone you meet to think you're brilliant. Being seen as intelligent is important for your self esteem. You are at your most playful when you are around people you don't know well. You're more serious around those you're close to. You let strangers see parts of you right away, but you believe in keeping some things private. You don't become close to many people. You only let people you've gotten to know very well in.

Who Do You Want to Impress?

Everytime I check out something here, it surprises me by turning out true...Whew!