"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."
How true this saying is!!! I am now here sitting with a long sheet of paper in my hand and typing with just one hand because I need a kind of support to write this post. I need the strength from the person who wants me to write about this here. This paper has his writing, his thoughts, his wishes and what I am to him. Yes, I am his "DOSTI."
Let's now get back to the scene where we stopped the last post. My on-the-job training. On Friday, we got our posting order and Monday morning came frozen and still. I was feeling blue because of my gonna-be OJT partner. Ankita was someone whom I knew well because she had been my project partner as well, so I was at least comfortable that she will be around. Soon I came to know that even she hates Sid. I thought well and good. Now it's two against one.
Well, I got ready, our bus was to leave our home (training centre) at sharp 8 but it started only at 8:30. Three of us, myself, Rems and Lex took a three-seater and it took nearly more than one hour to reach Delhi. Lex was having problems because of her being carrying but she managed somehow. We were all a lot worried about her. I had another worry at the back of my mind - SID!!! Our bus reached the destination first. There were two buses from our centre. We waited for the other bus because Ankita and Sid were on that. I was worried about being left alone. An officer from our office was supposed to accompany us from where the bus left us as it was the first day. After that, we were to come on our own. The office alloted to us was two stations apart from where the bus left us. We were to travel by the metro train. At last, Anki and Sid arrived and the officer who were to take us also reached. We followed him. I was seeing the metro train for the first time in my life and it was a very comfortable travel. We reached the Jhandewalan station within 15 minutes. All this while, I never even looked at Sid as to how he is feeling. Actually, myself and Ankita had planned never to utter a word to him unless absolutely necessary.
We reached CBO 18. It was a small office on the third floor in between a clutter of old buildings. We were introduced to everyone and we took seat near the officer in-charge. Sid was the only experienced person because he had got his real posting already and had been working for two months at the regional office but myself and Anki were freshers and we did not have any idea as to what happens inside the office. Theory is always different from the practical aspect, right? So myself and Ankita exchanged glances and sat bored for about 1 hour. Sid was getting phone calls in between and after about 1 hour he asked permission to go out and left. We let go of our breath and felt a big relief that he was out of our way now. We just wanted him to never come back. It was nearing lunch time and sir was worried of Sid. He ordered food for the two of us only. We didn't know Sid's phone number but somehow managed to get the number from the other guys in our training and gave it to sir. He called up and then he told us that he was with a friend and had his lunch. By 3 o'clock, he turned up. We thought he will get good scolding from sir but nothing like that happened and we were disappointed.
Our first day ended by 4 o'clock. Myself and Ankita said goodbye to sir and walked fast. We could hear Sid's footsteps behind us but we never cared. I felt awkward because never in my life had I faced such a situation like leaving someone in your own group behind for no reason but I followed Anki without thinking more. He might have sensed our urgency to leave him alone but he was on board the metro with us. We ignored him as if he didn't exist at all. I felt good and also bad at the same time. It was strange.
Day #2: We reached office as usual, myself and Ankita first and 10 minutes later Sid. For the first time, he asked us where did we run off. I was the one to answer him always because Anki totally wanted to ignore him. Even I wanted to, but I was not able to be that stone hearted, so I told him Anki wanted to have a coffee, so we hurried. He didn't say anything. Lunch time, we were taken to a restaurant nearby and he sat opposite me which I never thought I will have to ever. He never even looked at me once but ordered what he wanted and kept talking to sir who had accompanied us. I too kept my distance by maintaining my silence with him. I felt like he never bothered whether we ignored him or cared about him. That evening also we hurried back to the bus without waiting for him.
Day #3: I was feeling bad. In the morning, when I got down from the bus, I looked for Sid. He was standing with one of our batchmate and his chamchi a bit far looking for us but hadn't seen us. Anki wanted to avoid him, so I took her through a different side and we escaped alone. We reached office before him. In the evening also the same thing happened. That day, at the training centre, we happened to hear from someone that he had asked why Anki is considering him so bad, as if he had raped someone or what. This question made me giggle at that time but also made me think: "What has he really done to us that we are avoiding him like anything???? Three days have passed and he has never even looked at us in any kind of lusty way. Why am I afraid of him then???"
Day #4: My hatred for him was a bit less on that day. He had brought his laptop to the office on that day and was busy on it the whole day. He was showing everybody his snaps and even showed me his house, his village, his parents, his bhaiya, the temple nearby his house and such things. I didn't show much interest as Ankita was with me. That day, he was with us in the evening while going to board the bus and he was in the bus on my front seat. He was playing like a child with his fellow friends and that was when I started to notice him. A kind of curiosity had risen in my mind. I felt like I should know more about this person. I should know why I hate this person. Is he really someone whom I should hate??? My mind was full of questions that evening when I went to sleep.......
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