"The Musical Drama"

 It's just another New Year!!! 2023!!! 

With lots of heartbreaks, lots of hopeful days and lots of fresh beginnings. This year I will turn 40, so I should be hating this year but I don't. I am embracing my age with a lot more affection than I have ever shown myself. 

I had the chance to meet myself again this year, meet the person that I was when this century started in 2000. I could breathe the same, walk the same and feel the same. I could feel even the hope the same inside me. And what was the reason?? I don't know. May be I have travelled a full cycle of my life and I am back to the pavilion where I can either take the same route I took or I can change the path that I had chosen then. Very less people get that chance and by God's grace I have got that and I am welcoming it with open heart and I am going to cherish that throughout this lifetime.

I found the happiest days of my life this year. Even though there was always a misty feeling around, even though the clouds were dark, even though it was foggy outside, I could see everything clear and it is going to be like that from hereon. I want things getting clearer as days go by. I wont let any more negativity into my life, any more toxicity into my life. I am going to tread a different path and I am sure my path won't lead me to doom. It will lead to salvation. 

Let us find out soon!!!

A SATIRICAL LIFE......

Listening to Dr. K.N. Ranganatha Sharma's Carnatic notes, I feel elated. Classical music always takes me to a different world, especially when I close my eyes and listen to such music I feel as if I am sitting on the top of a peak where all around me I could see miles and miles of solitude surrounded by trees.

Solitude - I recently saw an interview with Rajasree Warrier where she was saying Solitude is the most beautiful word according to her. Solitude according to Oxford Dictionary: 1. The state or situation of being alone. 2. A lonely or uninhabited place. Even I feel Solitude is a beautiful word. Solitude according to me is not a state of being alone. It's a state where you are with yourself. You may wonder what is so good about being with oneself. We never take time to be with ourselves. We never think how life will be alone.

Life always carries us through different roads. Some roads are crowded where you might feel suffocated some where you feel bliss. We come across very few people also who make us feel at bliss.

I started writing this post about four years back but never completed it. So today I am thinking of putting an end to such random thoughts of mine and start my blog in a new refreshing way. I am still not sure whether anyone even reads my jottings because I always have a deserted feeling over here....Let's see....        

Offering prayers to you......

                   I offer you my thoughts, my bleeding heart, my sincere prayers to save my father and myself to you, Saint....I beseech you to give him the strength to tolerate the pain he will come across throughout the journey forward and please let him have his body intact and all his organs functioning well after the procedure...

God, be with us, save us, protect us, keep us together.....

Saint Alphonsa, pray for us

If I could follow his soul.....

Johny is no more. He left us tonight to a better place.
We will never have another dog in this house. Johny has left a space in our hearts which no one can ever fill in...We all will always love you .

Let his soul RIP.....

Their memories will never fade......

Today, we lost two sweet souls to some unknown contagion. Even though they were half siblings, they were bonded in love during their lifetime and even in death. Today, they both gave up their lives in one-hour time interval to be reunited in heaven where no earthly hardships can ever come their way. I wish their souls Rest In Peace...

Though you are far away from us,
We will never forget your love for each other,
The cries for milk every morning we open the doors,
The jolly jumps on sight of the milk can in mother's hands,
The shufflings and rumblings while you both toppled over one another,
We can still hear your meows in our ears.....
We can never forget you dears.....

Love you Chinjuma and Kunga....

Pauly Stole My Heart !!!!

This is the first time am sitting here to post something so early in the morning. The clock has struck 6:45 and my breakfast time is running near. I was thinking of writing this up yesterday evening but a friend of mine came up to adorn my hands with mehandi, so I had to wait till morning.

Yesterday was a busy Sunday with all the cleaning, washing and stuff but got to spent the afternoon gaping at Nivin and Nazriya in the movie theatre. Am not a movie buzz but went to watch 'Om Shanthi Oshana'. A movie worth watching. A perfect entertainer and that too from a girl's point of view. Moreover the movie is about a girl born in the same year that I was - 1983. Something more interesting.

I planned to watch this movie just for Nivin Pauly, the lead actor, as I am an ardent fan of his (a secret unveiled) but after watching it, I fell in love with the actual lead, Pooja Mathew played by Nazriya. She was cute and bubbly and she had already stolen the show when I heard the whistle blows from the onlookers the first time she entered the screen.

Nivin Pauly stole my heart the first time I saw him in Thattathin marayathu. But this one gave a different side of him, a bit more serious and mature character Giri which he has portrayed so beautifully that anyone of Puja's age might fall in love with him and his looks were stunning and unmatchable.

This one was a simple, funny, beautiful entertainer which took me back to my school and college days and made me fall in love once again!!!!

Life, death and some unexpected incidents

I know the title may sound a bit baffling but that is the title I want to give to this post.Today, after so many days, I felt my mind brimming with ideas to post here and I was not finding it easy sitting doing nothing. It was like an urge filling my mind, making it suffocate. I feel thankful to myself for beginning a blog like this here so that I could give vent to my thoughts over here.

The rainy season is at its topmost form in Kerala this year with more than 24 cm rainfall till now which is a very rare phenomenon in the last two decades. Today, the rain has stopped a bit but it’s still cloudy up above and I can hear the wind howling around blowing away the leaves over the treetops and also blowing away my clothes that were out to dry on the clothesline. I just hurried up and picked them up and came inside to sit down and write.

Four days ran away like in the blink of an eyelid. I was down with fever from Monday and I don’t know why I let myself travel till my workplace 130 km away and then back again when I myself felt the situation getting out of my control. Whew!!! Don’t want to think about those 7 hours of hell when my temperature just began to sore. Consulted the doc, took some heavy dose pills and I am back to near-normal.

These days have given me two great sorrows and I am not going to forget this rainy season ever. One of my good friends has lost his father to liver cirrhosis and the other sorrow I am not disclosing on ground of fear and respect to the people involved. So maybe that’s why I am feeling so disturbed at heart. It’s like my heart is saying something is not right around you. But what is the solution that I can offer??? There is no solution that happens to come to my mind other than offering my condolence to those living.

Everyone knows that death is always tragic and no one rejoices in death except if it is that of an enemy. Still death is inevitable and everyone respects death as he arrives as an uninvited guest at unexpected circumstances. We realise the beauty of life when we face the death of our dear and near ones. The death which really shook me was my uncle’s as I had mentioned somewhere in my older posts. Then there was the death of my squirrel over which I cried my heart out. Tears are intertwined with death. Sometimes I feel the futility of tears in the face of death. Isn’t that just our selfishness which brings tears to our eyes? Or is it real love for that person because of which we cry?Maybe both are involved on a 50-50 basis.

It has started to rain again. I am listening to a cheerful song from the movie Yahaan. Cheeful music always makes your heart lighter and help you look at the lighter side of life, away from the hardships and sufferings at least for those five minutes the song is on. Let me say Bye to you on a cheerful note then.

LOVE U AMMA.....

Mother’s day!!!! We all celebrated it without knowing who started this day!!!Well, The modern Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia, USA. Anna Maria Reeves Jarvis, her mother, was a social activist and organizer during and after the American Civil War. Mother's Day is a celebration honoring mothers and motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society.

This post am about to write is totally dedicated to my loving mother. I know there are people who have loved their mothers more than I do and also conveyed it through their action unlike me and that is the sole reason why my mother is special. I have never been able to give her what she deserved but still she loves me unconditionally.

My mother is from a local village bordering Palghat and Malappuram. She lived a normal or you may call it a below normal childhood with no dolls to play with and to speak frankly, it was certainly not a colourful childhood. She is the youngest of the three children to her parents and her mother had been a strict orthodox which only made my mother an atheist gradually due to the strict and compulsory rules she had to follow to in God's name. She used to nurture the dream of becoming a Hindi teacher but she could barely pass her matriculation because there was so much domestic jobs at home those days. This never gave her time to concentrate on her studies and moreover, there were no tuition centres in those times which could aide in her studies, especially mathematics, in which she was too weak.

After her matriculation, she was afraid to join for higher studies. She lacked confidence in herself. She joined typewriting, passed both higher and lower exams. She then started stitching as a hobby. But here also her confidence came in the way and she never stitched anything other than her own dresses.

And finally, she got married to my father who was from a high profile family of Ponnani in Malappuram and she reached Kolkata where he was working at the time. That was the first time she travelled by train. In those days, my father earned much less compared to what the youngsters do these days. He had rented a small quarters in Kolkata and my mother had to stay within the house until he returns in the evening. She was unable to mingle with the neighbours too as she was not well versed in Bengali. Slowly, she learned the language and was able to talk with her neighbours. My father was never a person to entertain friends at home. Even today, he don’t have any friendships that I remember about. He used to keep everyone at a bay and he never allowed any outsider to be closer to him than his family. Hence my mother also lacked friendships other than a few neighbours.

After I came into their life, their life became more difficult. I was a child who was unhealthy and they had to run with me to the doctor once in a while. My father used to blame amma whenever I fell ill saying that she didn’t take proper care of me. Poor her!!! She has suffered so much for me. I had this bad habit of not sleeping  unless amma made me sway on her lap. I used to cry until she did that and that should be continued until I sleep. Amma used to get leg pain because of that. I have troubled her to such an extent even in the matter of eating food. I was such a slow eater and had an aversion to food, especially milk. I hate milk!!!!(not now though). She had to pamper me with stories and when she turns impatient, I used to get nice thrashings which made me gulp the food in a few seconds.

Life was going smooth until 2006. My amma always packed me everything that I needed, my favourite food and drinks whenever I left home for the workplace, at the time, Kovai. She used to wake up early to prepare everything when I will be snoring away.

I gave her so much pain with that one incident in 2006 which changed all our lives. That is the worst year of my life and I just want to erase it out of my life. I know she can never forgive me for what I did because that incident took away her respectful life in the society. She has come to terms with it still. I know that. I can understand that. If I had a daughter, maybe I too will react the same. So I have got nothing against her for blaming me for what happened. I accept it. But I don’t regret about it. It’s just that I feel sorry that I couldn’t be the daughter she wanted me to be.

She still loves me the same even if I made her life so hard. She still packs me the best food in the world waking up early in the morning leaving everything else, prepares what I like the most and buys for me the best things she can manage. She is the one who gives me courage to do anything under the sun without being afraid of anything like she did in her life. She taught me the best behaviour I have, to keep things neat and tidy, to be sincere in the work that we do and many more such good qualities. I know she loves her two daughters the same and one day I want to give her what she deserves. I have so many plans in my mind but I don’t know when they will get realized. One day, if God forbids, everything will turn back normal and her life will be beautiful than ever because of me because I don’t want to see her hanging her head in shame in front of others because of me. One day she will proudly say that ‘my daughter is the best’.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOU AMMA…..

A few random thoughts !

Today, I was not planning to post anything but as the afternoon rose, things started piling up in my mind and I thought it is better to jot them down than carry them forever in my mind until they vanish. Moreover, my mobile phone is not with me and that's making my life more easier or rather that's giving me more time to be with myself.

I was never addicted to mobile phones till the year 2006. 2006 changed many things in my life or to tell straight, this year made my life turn into a disaster, a hopeless one. But I found hope three years after that through a person who became the light of my life. I knew the road on which I was traveling will never lead me to good but I couldn't keep myself from it until he came. Now, that hope too is diminishing. I am afraid whether my being in his life is making his life distraught. He was only to be there for a short time in my life. Now I realise it's time to move on, for him and for me. This brings up the eternal truth: Nothing Lasts Forever.

Coming back to the day, I am sitting near the window in my room which opens out to the terrace where I can see all the girls' washed dresses hanging on ropes to dry up. The full blown sun is shining down but none of its rays can touch me as there is a sheltering wall in between. It feels good after a big round up of monthly cleaning of the room and cupboards, washing up your bedspreads and mosquito net and other messy clothes, having a shampoo bath and then sitting here on the old wooden cot immersed in my own world. It's good when life moves on according to the timetable. I think I have got accustomed to that and now anything that will disturb this routine might be held with contempt by me. I enjoy to see things neatly arranged and everything kept in order around you. It brings a kind of mental peace.

Now I don't feel sorry about my life. I am happy living it this way. I am happy there are people out there to whom I can talk out my heart. I don't have complaints that no one listens to me. I am not burdened with miseries or problems. Maybe God wants it this way. I have never felt lonely in my life except when I was left with an unknown man by someone whom I loved. Now I realize that feeling was foolish. It was immature. There is nothing like loneliness unless you create it. You are never lonely in your life. You have thousands of things to do and think over if you care about it.

I no more believe in destinies created by us. Whatever we try to create, they can be destroyed by the great power above. Hence if you want something to happen in your life, desire for it earnestly, work sincerely towards it, decide never to lose it and be positive in your mind, let whatever hurdles you have to face.

I wish all bloggers a happy WISH FULFILLING WEEK !!!!

This post is going to have so many specialties to claim this time. To elaborate on a few; this is the first post on my blog that I am going to write without a post title and this is also the first blog I will be posting from my own laptop!!! YIPPEE !!!

After a long break as usual in which I even thought of totally getting out of the blogosphere as I felt ashamed myself at how infrequent my posts have become. So it is a shame to tell people that I have got a blog in here in which I rarely jot down things.

These days I have been having some serious musings on various issues; personal, public, official and so on. So how to deal with these issues or how I am dealing with the same was what put me into a lot of confusing thoughts. It is not that I am in murky waters because of any of these issues; it is just that I don't seem to be getting a way out of my routinized life. My own fault, you might say when you hear my story. So I don't want to get on to that.

I have become lazier than ever after getting this permanent job. I feel comfortable that I am getting enough bucks in my pocket at the end of the month and that is what is making me lazier I suppose. Ambitions are still there in my mind but my goals are blurred. I feel that only a marriage can fix up my goals once more. All my concentration seems to be centering around this one problem which can't be fixed up at all. All the more, I have started losing my faith in the institution of marriage. I fear myself. My love for myself is putting things at a higher risk for me. It seems like "satisfaction" has disappeared from my life's story. Maybe I am overambitious or I am negatively balanced. I know the problem is with "ME". Guys come and go out of my life, maybe I myself invite them and ask them to get out. I feel I shouldn't be a mistake in their life. I want a person who perfectly understands, tolerates and assists me to be in my journey. I don't want another accident. The bruises from the fall I had seven years back have not yet healed. So I can't hasten things with anyone.

Yesterday during the evening prayers, I cried to God. It just calmed me down. I had stopped believing in God seven years back when my life had cracked down like a mirror. What I felt at the time to be a disbeliever was that even after knowing everything, God didn't give me the courage to stop that marriage from happening. Neither did he help me get out of that relationship. He just let everything happen without any delays. I felt God never loved me, that's why he punished me that way. But I was wrong, God might have had other beautiful plans for me. He had wanted me to grow strong and independent in life. I still don't know what his plans are for me but now I trust that whatever he does, it will all be for my good, because I am his daughter. So I will resist what I don't like and let happen what he wants if it has to be so. Without a miracle, we usually never believe that God exists. In every believer's life, there will be a miracle. In my life also, I got miracles after I turned an atheist. So now here I am, in front of you, as my God's child.

I hope to continue jotting down here....So cyao...

At last.......

My beloved is radiant and ruddy,
    outstanding among ten thousand. 

 His head is purest gold;
    his hair is wavy
    and black as a raven. 

 His eyes are like doves
    by the water streams,
washed in milk,
    mounted like jewels. 

 His cheeks are like beds of spice
    yielding perfume.
His lips are like lilies
    dripping with myrrh. 

 His arms are rods of gold
    set with topaz.
His body is like polished ivory
    decorated with lapis lazuli.

His legs are pillars of marble
    set on bases of pure gold.
His appearance is like Lebanon,
    choice as its cedars.

His mouth is sweetness itself;
    he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved, this is my friend,
    daughters of Jerusalem.

Adopted from Song of Songs

A way to love.....

Despite your indifference or cold discriminations,
there is a way to touch me with your spirit—

a way to let that soul hold me with its long feathers

But when you see me with those carnal eyes,
you cannot truly touch me—I fall from your fingers

Like pearls and roll into the cracks of your wooden floor



And there I see those black and white pictures of you
enhanced by the roll of my life line, and I know
that what you say is untrue—there “is” a way to love me....


Adapted from Tumblr

Tip...Tip...There goes the rain!!!!

Wow!!! The rain is back again...Whew...Isn't it nice to sit on your cozy bed and enjoy a cup of hot tea and listen to and watch the rain drops through your bedside window??? Well, am excactly doing that but not sitting on the bed and minus the 'garam' tea...But I can of course watch and listen to the rain outside the  window by my side..

Well, rainy season brings back memories in loads. It brings tears of joy, tears of hope and tears full of expectations for beautiful days ahead...There are some rainy songs which I cherish a lot...In fact, I thought of making this post a bit more bright with Songs that bring back memories into your life....Can we start off then?

Well, each song that I may bring out here might be related to somebody whom I wish I could see everyday...So no offense to anyone not mentioned!!!

The song which has really succeeded in bringing back old tuition class memories is the one from the movie 'Agnidevan'. Lyrics were by Gireesh Puthenchery and music by M.G. Radhakrishnan. The song Nilavinte really makes me remember the last day of our tuition classes when we had organized a program on the sent-off of the'99 batch and there was an anthakshari comp. and Raj with Bhavna had sung this song as a team...It was a surprise to me to know that he knew to sing too as he was considered as a stark kiddo politician of those days...

The song from the hit movie of the year 1998-99 Sallapam was a hit among us girls. Girls do mean the three of us, both my cousins and me.My elder cousins' classmate was a guy who was my grandma's neighbour and they used to make fun of me because I used to comment on his mannerisms. He was compared to the hero of the movie, none other than 'Dileep'. So the song Chandana written by Kaithapram and music by Johnson always used to bring a laugh from the three of us while watching it on TV. None of the elders understood why we giggled without any reasons!!!

The next is a song that is matchless in my memories.We, the housing colony kiddos organized a new year program on the new year of 2000 and there was a cine drama among the programs in which I was one of the main 'male' characters and the song penned by Vairamuthu and directed by A.R. Rahman Singanadai from the movie Padayappa was the highlight of the program as the drama began with the lead characters entering the stage dancing on this song!!! Whew! Those were golden days my dear...

My hostel days at Coimbatore are remarkable with the 'dhun' of this song which was repeatedly played in all the rooms on our floor and it was like an anthem to us. So even after 7 years of leaving Coimbatore, when I hear this song from 7G Rainbow Colony whose lyrics were penned by Muthukumar and music by Yuvan Shankar Raja Kan pesum it brings back the faces of all my dear Tamilian friends whom I really really miss a lot...

The song that I hate to hear and which brings me memories which I want to spit out is Fakir's Kaash hum. It sounds like a chain of lies told by someone trusted. It was one of my favourite songs when I first heard it but now I have just deleted that song out from my playlist because it brings stinging memories to me when played in a lonely room.

The song from the movie Muskan Betaab dil really brings tears as it reminds me how broken hearted I had been on the 9th of September in 2006. This song was played on the evening of that day just to let someone know that I really cared a lot...

Then came the golden days of my life when I found a real friend who really inspired me and let me blow up myself in full swing and this song is very special to me in the sense that it was when this movie was out that our friendship began and the journeys by bus for OJT reminded of how good a friend I gained during those less than 15 days..Written by Sayeed Qadri and Kumar and music by Pritam, the song from Tum Milejust steals my heart every time I listen to it.

The winter of 2009, I will never forget that.The chill that runs down myself is something worth feeling again and for that I ask the help of this song from Sangharsh whose music is by Jatin-Lalit. The only song that makes me feel that I am back in that garden under the evening sky shivering even with a sweater on and someone had made me hold his mobile phone and plugged the earphone into my ears and walked away and there goes Mujhe raat din. Wow, I am still getting goosebumps at the thought of that song and the garden....

There are lot more songs which I wanted to play here but time has run up and I need to go get something to eat and drink...So see you next time guyzz....

The end is near....

Just all of a sudden, a bloody idea crept onto my mind which I shouldn't have allowed to !!! "I should stop blogging"! Well, I know I am not being read by many other than the ones who know me and nowadays that ones have turned to just 'one' and I think there is no point in posting here if my thoughts just annoy others.

Well, it is just an idea now and I won't be going away anyway without a proper goodbye.

Life as I had told you earlier has come to a standstill. There seems to be no road ahead. It's dark all of a sudden. As if I all the street lights were put off by someone far away. No moonlight to guide through and the sun has stopped rising. All the dreams and all the good thoughts have flown away from my brain. I feel empty inside, an emptiness which cannot be filled by anything. No feeling of happiness can come near me as I am standing in stark darkness. All around I can feel the Harry Potter type 'dementor's' presence as if they are sucking the life out of me, the energy, the power, the happiness and the enthusiasm to move forward is all lost to them. I can feel them floating around me, devouring upon my youthful soul, drying me to the root so that my mind and soul gets desiccated.

Was this what I had been waiting all along? Was it for this that I fought with such rigour? Is this the way my life is going to end up? I wanted to change everything but now I don't feel strong enough for that. The people I cared no longer care for me because I am just a mere burden upon everyone. Is that the truth? Am I such a horrible person? Can't anyone see the pain I am going through? The way I am suffering? I was not the only one who brought this upon me. The one who brought this upon me is going to have a beautiful life very soon. Is it in the destiny of an innocent person to suffer for other's sins? No one knows the answers to what I am searching for. But still.....my heart just hopes....if someone could show me the way out.....

Winter has frozen my heart !!!

I watched
as the birds left.

my heart tugged in time
with their wings and
i hoped, the cold would come.

but, Winter
took to the open road
and lost its way.

sent us postcards and letters,
dated four days ago.

each the same
and different, with
worn edges and faded
longhand.

there will be, no Winter this year.

no frozen fingers or warm soups.
no thick blankets or fireplace memories.
no crisp mornings or fogged breath.

Winter, broke our hearts
and left us only
with the fading bodies,
of birds on the horizon.

Winter sends us its regards,
each message
coming further and further apart,
like our sweating lips.

there will be, no Winter this year.

Adapted from Tumblr

What should be my thoughts???

So...I have not been knowing what is happening around here because blogging has become a very minimal thing that I do in a month. After I left my previous job about a year back, I am seriously not finding enough time to read the blogs I love or write on my page. Needless to say, I find very less time even to surf on the web. One reason might be because I am out of my home with my job and I am not using Internet where I am staying and another reason might be that my mind is more or less entrapped in various other goings-on which I am unable to put into words.

Well, we had a grand time last month with our Hostel day celebs especially because myself and Swar had taken up everything on our heads and finally everything ended up just fine without any serious mishaps. Ooops, ya mishaps did happen...We lost one of our good friends (or whom we had thought to be) from our friends' chain as she turned out to be very different from what we thought her to be. It's when we come to know about people in a closed circle way, that we find their real character or the base of their character to be something entirely surprising. Some people turn out to be the most crooked behind and some people turn out to be the laziest ones that we have ever met and some turn out to be so immature that they need to be given a special tution on character-build. Well, it's all part of the game as we finally realized. We also learnt the biggest lesson that 'age can never make you grown up, it's the mind which makes you really grown up' with the way you understand situations and the way you tackle the hurdles that come across your way.

I have been thinking a lot about pursuing my studies these days as directed by my 'guide'. But I don't know why I am not getting that thrust to move forward and I am also not able to make out from where to begin. I know once I am into the groove, I can really move myself forward but I am not getting the right direction. Nowadays, Sid too is having a busy time with his main exam following and moreover, he is with his brother. These brothers always protects their younger ones and that's making my life a bit difficult but I believe that everything is for good only. Only patience helps one in one's life.

EQ ???@@@%%***

Your EQ is 107

You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. You're a bit moody, and sometimes you have trouble coping with every day life. But you're by no means depressed, and your good days definitely out number your bad days. There's nothing really wrong with your life, but you may not be living up to your actual potential. Negative emotions can be a real drain of your energy, so make sure you have them under control.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Good Days !!!

Very less time is left !!! You might be wondering for what, right???

Nothing that will seem important to you but it's a lot important to me right now than sitting here and writing on my blog. This thing is going to decide the direction of my life, as to where I will be, say, after 5 years from today. So I had better hurry up with this post.

I just wanted to jot down something which I have been thinking of for the past one week. Yeah, I had a great time at FBD with Sid. He made me teary eyed the first day I landed on the airport and I had even taken a rash decision as to never to make up with him ever again but as you know, rash things do get resolved in a rash way..Similarly, this thing also got sorted out by the time our cab reached the college. We didn't talk much during the drive because I was full of fury towards him for making me wait at the airport for a whole 3 hours and he was too shy to overcome my fury. Yeah, it's true that he is a slow one with such pacifying rules.

Well, I never knew how time ran away the last one week with him. Sunday, after reaching there, with the blink of an eye, it was Saturday, the time to leave the college. We shared so many happy moments together but one day I even hurt him by disclosing the dirtiest secret of my life and it really did hit him rather worse and he didn't talk to me for the rest of the time. The next morning, I thought I have lost him, but, him being the angel in my life, came to me and everything was alright again.

Now I feel the worst part of my life has gotten over. The mental tortures, the unwanted worries, the despicable people involved everything has come to an end. Now just one thing remains to be seen: WILL SUCCESS COME OUR WAY???? And I am confident that it will come our way. I am just crossing my fingers and waiting for everything to happen as and when we wish.

The journey back to my home on Saturday brought such a drastic change in my brain which I can't explain. He took me to his brother's place which was a hidden den of books neatly dumped on the tables surrounding him. He looked like a saint born to be great. A man with a calm, gentle dignified demeanor which just made me so happy that I am in such good company. Both brothers seemed like 'Ram&Lakshman' to me. Sid just followed his brother like his devotee. He used to talk to me about his brother so much but I never expected to meet such a gem of a person. I am glad that I am not with a wrong person this time. Now I just wish his brother achieves his aim and win his normal life back, that too, with more vigour than before.

Well, that's all I am planning to write just now because I too have a long mile to go before I "sleep". So see you soon guys!!!

Writer's Block !!!!

It's not a new thing for me.It has been following me for the past few years. Whenever I forcefully overcome it, then you can find my post over here. So here comes one such:

Today, it was blazingly hot over here and now that the sun has come down, the earth is getting a bit cooler. Yesterday, it had rained over here which gave us all a cool and pleasant atmosphere and we had an outdoor dinner in the night just because my sis was all over for it. But even I enjoyed sitting out for dinner. The rain that we get in the middle of summer is usually called "Mango Shower". It is in this season that we get mangoes and jackfruits in our backyard. When I was in my teens, my summer was always spent at my mother's home, about 60 km away from my home. There we used to have lots of mango trees and jackfruit trees and there used to be swarming flies around. Myself and my cousins used to gulp down those mangoes and the jackfruit pieces as soon as they reached the ground. Those were wonderful times of life !!!

Every time I read a new book, I jot down the best lines in those book which I find worthwhile remembering even after the story fades into the memory. Last year, I read 'The Kite Runner' and it was a pretty impressive read and I found the book very touching to the end. There are a few quotes which I would like to mention here:

'Every woman needed a husband. Even if he did silence the song in her.'

This line was worth pondering over. Is it really true that no woman can live a decent life without marriage? Yeah, it's true. In an Indian society, no woman can live alone, rather, people won't let her live her life on her own. I am sure there won't be any single woman who has never had a taste of bitterness from other people's tongues about her own life, the doubtful glances, the nasty interpretations about visitors, and questions that follow her wherever she go. The only single women who could put an end to all those were those who got into such high respectable jobs where no one dare look at her that way. But there are so many women who are weak to respond because they look at their husbands as their only god and are ready to suffer anything under his rule.

'Life is a train, get on board.'

Very true, life is a journey which we all undertake to reach our destination and so we all get on board the 'life train' the moment we are born into this world.

'A man who has no conscience, no goodness, does not suffer.'

In today's world, we find so many murderers, rapists, thieves and such hard hearted criminals who don't care whether they will be punished for their acts or not. They just act upon their will and never stops to listen to their conscience. And when we see how easily they escape the law, it does make us wonder whether that man will ever change. No, such men will never change because they never suffer inside for the cruel deeds they do.

'When you tell a lie, you steal a man's right to the truth.'

A very wonderful line which tells us the significance of telling truth always. Lie never makes us win a situation but it also destroys someone else' rights.

So I hope everyone who reads this finds these quotes interesting and thought provoking. If so, just don't forget to share your views with me dears.....

New Game !!!

My Celebrity Style Twin is Mischa Barton

Funky, bohemian, and girly.

Who's Your Celebrity Style Sister?